Sunday, December 24, 2006
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Did you know that when a man says he did all of the dishes, that it really means that he did all of the dishes he needed to cook his food?
Monday, December 11, 2006
Friday, December 01, 2006
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Jonathan Swift (1667) - remember "A Modest Proposal"? You know, when he suggested eating children to end famine?
Mark Twain (1835) - the original smartass of American Literature
Sir Winston Churchill (1874) - a terribly drunk smartass
So if you aim to have smartass children, November 30th would be a good day to induce labor.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
I don't know what kind of monster would roll Fast like that. I hope it is a good trade -- the few bucks Fast had on him in exchange for a life in prison. Because that's where you are going. You killed someone that had a lot of friends that want to see you go to jail. He may have been a way for you to get a few crack rocks, but he was family to us.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
And another 3 slaps in the face for the losers:
1. South Dakota rejected the ban on virtually all abortions. Of course, that pretty much is the case since there is only one doctor providing this service for the whole state...
2. Arizona defeated the ban on gay marriage!
3. Missouri approved stem cell research.
Maybe people are getting tired of a bunch of criminals forcing their so called morality on our personal lives...
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
1. Madonna is a horrible person because she should have adopted an American baby. But its alright for Angelina Jolie??? I don't get it.
2. Where you shop and what you drink is indicative of your political party. For example, Chevy driver, gun owners and bourbon drinkers tend to be Republican. Target shoppers and gin drinkers tend to be Democrats. So, I shop at Target and like bourbon (just the thought of gin makes me want to puke). What does that make me?
3. There is an epidemic of pet obesity. They've put out a challenge for you to teach your dog to give into the hype that you can never be too thin...
4. When assholes like Michael McCaul (my Republican representative that NEVER writes me back when I send him letters) start talking about securing the Mexican border (you know, the $4 billion fence that you can climb with a $10 ladder), it makes it much more tolerable to listen to Black Velvet Flag's "Institutionalized". Lounge Punk Rock really takes off the edge.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Monday, October 16, 2006
Friday, October 13, 2006
Just a few things about the current governor's performance during the debate:
Not only is Rick Perry a liar, but his hair is in serious decline. During the debate, he told lie after lie about all of the great things he did. My favorite was the $12,000 pay raise for the teachers of Texas. What a load of bullshit. The state will kick in between $1500 to $2000 and the school districts were told to kick in the other $10K. As for the alleged property tax reductions? Well that was made possible by creating new taxes and raising other taxes. Not really much of a tax break is it when it is just shuffled some where else. I also enjoyed his speech about the Trans-Texas Corridor. Despite his claims, the people of Texas never voted to approve the largest taking of private lands ever. But hell it is only 9000 square miles, so what the hell? Those farmers don't really need that land anyway to make a living. I think this was the point when I threw my shoe at the TV. So, if you like liars you should vote for this asshole because you are an asshole too.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
After watching the Gubernatorial Debate, MOTL informed me who Carole Four Names looks like. Granny goodness. The god of child abuse. Her power? Seducing children to the dark side. Voting for her is like voting for the dark side. Don't do it.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Monday, October 02, 2006
Here is an except of the story from Clark's site. How the Bank of America blunder went down:
By now, you've probably heard the story of the San Francisco man who was arrested and jailed when he tried to verify the validity of a check at Bank of America branch. Clark found out about this story and talked with the man, Matthew Shinnick, who has spent about $14,000 in legal fees to clear his name. It all started when Shinnick posted two bicycles for sale on Craigslist and received a check from a man for more than the cost of the bicycles. He went into his bank to see if the check was legitimate and verify that there was money in the person's account. He was told it was a valid account and so he cashed the check. At that point, BOA employees called the police and Shinnick was arrested on fraud charges because the check was actually a phony. He had no idea that the real criminal had used the name of a legitimate company to fake a check. So, Matthew sat in the bank branch for hours while police figured out what to do and then spent the night in jail. Once he got out, he wanted to clear his name legally so the arrest would not come back to haunt him. He had to hire attorneys to do this and it cost him nearly $14,000. He then went to Bank of America and asked that the bank cover his fees because it was the bank's error. But so far BOA has refused. This kind of treatment sends the message that banks only care about their bottom line and nothing about their customers. It's unacceptable and it's time to fight back.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Here is the response I got from Customer Service On Sep 29, 2006, at 9:32 PM, Consumer_Services@papajohns.com wrote:
Thanks for the great feedback! Your compliments have been forwarded onto
the appropriate people for review and I am sure they will enjoy them as
much as we did.
Thanks again and have a great day!
Consumer Services Team
And this is my reply:
I'm not really sure why you thought that my complaint was a compliment. I find it interesting that my informing you of my terrible experience with Papa John's is enjoyable. This is just one more reason why I feel like your company should make some internal changes. I find it abhorrent that you find my displeasure with your service to be so fantastic.
Have a great day!
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
and in other news of sketchiness... State Farm is now suing two former employees for turning over evidence that it tried to avoid paying claims by manipulating engineering reports on homes damaged by Hurricane Katrina. I'm sure what they did was illegal, but what State Farm did was much worse. On the scale of justice do you illegally turn over information that proves more law breaking or do you sit back and watch the insurance companies rip people off and destroy lives?
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Scarlett Johansson is not only happy with her curves, she would like to switch places with the President for the day. Anything would be better at this point. And I bet she would not have sent former commerce secretary Donald L. Evans to represent President Bush at Ann Richards' memorial. What an ass wipe. He could have at least sent someone that still works for him.
And Rachael Ray is annoying. Duh.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Friday, September 15, 2006
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
A few days later, I got a note in the mail from her telling me how much she enjoyed meeting me and that she was honored that I had named my cat after her. I still have that note. What was really incredible was that the next time I met her, I was 21 and when I told her that the last time I met her I was this many (holding up my hand the same way I did when I was 3) she said she remembered that I had named my cat after her. What a great lady.
Ann Richards' quotes
"Poor George, he can't help it — he was born with a silver foot in his mouth."
— Keynote Address to the 1988 Democratic National Convention
"Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out."
— Recommendation to former president George H. W. Bush in 1992.
"Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels."
"If you think taking care of yourself is selfish, change your mind. If you don't, you're simply ducking your responsibilities."
"I have very strong feelings about how you lead your life. You always look ahead, you never look back."
"But I'll tell you something sort of interesting. There's something, you know, there's something a little scary about funny women. Well, they're threatening. And there was a survey done one time where they asked women what they were most afraid of from men. And the -- their response was they were most afraid of being hit or beaten or hurt from men. And they asked men what they were most afraid of from women, and they said being laughed at. "
"The public does not like you to mislead or represent yourself to be something you're not. And the other thing that the public really does like is the self-examination to say, you know, I'm not perfect. I'm just like you. They don't ask their public officials to be perfect. They just ask them to be smart, truthful, honest, and show a modicum of good sense."
"And the state of Texas, when I was governor, we built an awful lot of prisons. And to be frank with you, I made a deal, and the deal was that I would help pass the legislation and be for building a lot more prisons in Texas if I could get rehab programs for people who were alcoholics and drug abusers because I knew that over 80 percent of the crime committed in Texas was committed by people under the influence of alcohol or drugs. And unless you treat that alcoholism and you treat that drug addiction, when they go right back out on the street, you got a drunk or you've got an addict that is going to commit a crime again. "
"I am delighted to be here with you this evening because after listening to George Bush all these years, I figured you needed to know what a real Texas accent sounds like."
- 1988 keynote address, Democratic National Convention
"I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it."
Ann Richards on How to Be a Good Republican:
1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.
2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.
4. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.
5. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.
6. You have to believe...everything Rush Limbaugh says.
7. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.
8. You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.
9. You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.
10. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.
11. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
12. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.
13. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.
14. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
15. You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.
16. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
17. You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.
18. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher."
"Teaching was the hardest work I had ever done, and it remains the hardest work I have done to date."
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Friday, September 08, 2006
When I was in college, I wanted to go on a study abroad program to Israel and the Pineapple Mom absolutely forbade it because it was too dangerous there. Instead the Pineapple Parents financed a study abroad program in England. At this time, the IRA was going nuts with their car bombs. Of course, this wasn't so much on the news here because we never get good information from the mainstream media. My favorite was the day we were on the Tube and everybody was thrown off. Turns out there was a live bomb on the train. When we were being ushered out of the station, I asked what was going on and was told it was mechanical trouble. Yeah right, that's why they made us leave the station. But because I am a born smart ass, I sent the Pineapple Parents a postcard depicting the underground map and circled the stop I where we were ejected. I simply wrote: "The bomb was here." But the truth is, I was back riding trains that same day. Even after 9/11, I have never had any fear that I would be attacked by terrorists.
But getting back to our current situation just maybe we wouldn't be in so much "danger" if there was a different administration. Just a thought.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Monday, September 04, 2006
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Friday, September 01, 2006
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
As The Ladies were racing through the yard, Laverne reached over and grabbed Shirley's collar and they went tumbling. The collar got wrapped around Laverne's mouth and Shirley couldn't breathe. I couldn't get the collar off so I ran inside and got the scissors. By the time my one true love could cut the collar off, Shirley had stopped breathing. Luckily we were able to revive her by winging CPR. I guess all those times asking if Annie was alright paid off. So the long and short of it is that I spent the beginning of this 29th year at the emergency vet with the miracle dog. The Pineapple Dad suggested we rename her Mercedes because she is so expensive. But if my dog is a Mercedes, I have no idea what that would make their dog. She is fine now and that is all that matters.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Here is the best part of the article:
"Harris told the journalists "we have to have the faithful in government" because that is God's will. Separating religion and politics is "so wrong because God is the one who chooses our rulers," she said.
"And if we are the ones not actively involved in electing those godly men and women," then "we're going to have a nation of secular laws. That's not what our Founding Fathers intended, and that certainly isn't what God intended.""
Here is my are some of my questions:
1. Why did they let her out on the loose without her meds?
2. If the Founding Fathers didn't intend to separate church and state then why did they?
3. If God picks our rulers, why do we even bother with elections?
Friday, August 25, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Naturally, on Faux (Fox) News they said it terminates pregnancy. What bullshit. You don't know you are pregnant the next day. You do know that it is a possibility and that you don't want to be so you take the morning after pill. Admittedly it has been a while since I took "Health" (my junior year in high school) but I was under the impression that it took a little longer than 72 hours for an egg to be fertilized and successful be implanted in the uterus (maybe only grrrl can help me out here). But no matter how the science of it all works, it is just a matter of time before super-religious pharmacists refuse to sell Plan B because it is against their moral code.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Monahans was quite uneventful and I didn't even see anything that was interesting enough for a picture. Boo hiss. On the way back to Odessa I saw several things but the camera was in the back seat. I did see the sign for the Monahans Sandhills Park. I remember going there as a child and having a picnic. I guess it is a great place for that if you like "sand"wiches. Oh, ha ha!
No worries, I should see all sorts of interesting things tomorrow when I go to San Angelo. I bet you thought I would be going back to New Mexico. Well, so did I. But things change ever so quickly in my world. Maybe I will come across a Concho while I am there. We can only hope.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
So my trip home was way too exciting for me. As I was leaving Hobbs, it was quickly filling up with water. I almost didn't get out of that crap hole because the streets were really flooded. I'm glad I opted for the gas guzzling SUV. The rest of the drive was uneventful except that the whole time I was worried about missing my plane because the bad weather put me about an hour behind schedule. I finally got to the airport, returned the car, checked my bags, and made it through security. What a pain. The woman in front of me wanted to take her water with her. All I wanted was my lip balm that was in my suitcase and to make my plane. I had about twenty minutes to spare. I got some food and chugged a bottle of water because I was really thirsty. I was really stressed so I thought about taking a Xanax before getting on the plane but decided against it. Boy, did I make a mistake. That was the scariest plane ride I have ever been on. As we were climbing, the plane hit some really bad turbulence (remember that storm I left behind?). That made me nervous, but when the plane started dropping and the lights on the plane flickered on and off I was in full panic mode. It wasn't just me, there were a lot of people screaming. People talk about their whole life flashing before their eyes. I don't know what that is all about because I could think about was how I was going to die (either from the free fall of the plane and crashing to the ground or from the huge lightning right outside the window causing a spectacular fiery death). While it was only a few minutes of uncertainty about whether the plane was going to make it up, it felt like forever. When it the flight attendant came by to take my drink order, I asked for a coke with a lot of bourbon. When she came back to the back of the plane she had a huge fist of cash. People were buying their neighbors drinks and some people ordered more than one. My drink (Jim Beam with a splash of coke as per the flight attendant) was gone instantly. It was a long flight as people were really quiet and nervous. I tried to concentrate on my book but couldn't. I didn't realize how quiet the plane was until it landed and people finally relaxed. I have never been on a plane that emptied that fast.
Friday, August 11, 2006
I've Been Everywhere (In Texas)
Geoff Mack (Texas Version Adapted By Brian Burns)
I was totin’ my pack along the dusty Amarillo road
when along came a semi with a high and canvas covered load.
“If you’re goin’ to Amarillo, Mack, with me you can ride,”
and so I climbed up in the cab and then I settled down inside.
He asked me if I’d seen a road with so much dust and sand,
and I said, “listen, bud, I’ve traveled every road in this here land...”
I’ve been everywhere, man,
I’ve been everywhere, man,
I’ve crossed the deserts bare, man,
breathed the mountain air, man,
of travel I’ve had my share, man,
I’ve been everywhere.
I’ve been to Waco, Hico, Hondo, Navasota,
Winnsboro, Jacksboro, Hillsboro, Santa Rosa,
Austin, Houston, Galveston, Texarkana,
Frisco, Buffalo, Conroe, Corsicana,
Goliad, Groesbeck, Glen Rose, Red Oak,
Post Oak, Live Oak, Lone Oak, no joke...
I’ve been to Krugerville, Pflugerville, Van Horn, Val Verde,
Brackettville, Bartonville, Beeville, Bulverde,
Bear Creek, Cedar Creek, Mill Creek, Mineola,
Maypearl, Monahans, Telephone, Tuscola,
Redwater, Round Rock, Round Top, Round Lake,
Sour Lake, Southlake, Springlake, for Pete’s sake...
I’ve been to Greenville, Gatesville, Gainesville, Alameda,
Kerrville, Kellyville, Bastrop, Benavides,
Somerville, Smithville, Stephenville, Prairie View,
Luckenbach, Longview, Plainview, Idalou,
Justin, Junction, Panorama, Pasadena,
Angelina, and Lorena...see what I mean-a...
I’ve been to Valley Mills, Pine Mills, Dime Box, Duncanville,
New Home, New Hope, New Deal, Liberty Hill,
Rockport, Rock Creek, Bridgeport, Brownwood,
Cleburne, Comanche, Cut & Shoot, Cottonwood,
Bayview, Bayside, Baytown, Bay City,
Falls City, Center City, Bridge City, what a pity...
When it comes to travelin’ Texas, friend,
I’ve been everywhere.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
I was just about to publich this, when the "reporter" said the terrorist were going to blow up ten airlines! Shows you what I know because I thought they were going to blow up ten airplanes...
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
** I call it a "ranch" because he just cuts brush and rides his bike. The proper term is "property" because it is not used for raising horses, beef cattle, or sheep as per the definition of any Texan and Merriam Webster. So there.
I guess he is doing this to pass the time until his trial for laudering money and consipiracy starts.
"Swayze is the first cast member of Dirty Dancing to publicly voice support of Gibson. There was no word on when Jennifer Grey or Cynthia Rhodes might weigh in.
Gibson, 50, did not star in Dirty Dancing or any other movie with Swayze.
It was unknown what Swayze's endorsement would mean to Gibson's plunging poll numbers, although, in general, ex-Dirty Dancing stars have not been considered vital to the forming of public opinion."
When you travel, eating is always an adventure. This Pineapple can only take so much junk food. Finding good food in small towns requires a bit of bravery. So on Saturday I decided I really wanted some breakfast tacos. I drove around until I found a place with lots of cars. When I walked in I knew I had found a good one because I was the only white person in there. And I had. I got the best bean and egg taco ever. And rebeccabobecca, it is better than our favorite taco joint in South Austin. No fooling! I have also included my new cutlery. Sometimes you need a fork and spoon so I went with Strawberry Shortcake. How cute!
Monday, August 07, 2006
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Yesterday while I was waiting for the bats to come out, I saw all sorts of creepy crawlies. First, there was this millipede. I was sitting near some fellow Texans (one of them was a huge Kinky fan and told his wife that she should have let him wear his "Kinky for Governor" hat once he found out I was from Texas too) and we decided it was alright to take a picture since technically the bats had not come out yet.
But it gets better. When the bats started coming out there was some commotion to my right. This man was holding a baby rattlesnake and taunting his wife with it. Then he put it in his coke can. He was planning on stealing a rattlesnake. Someone got one of the rangers. When this idiot told the ranger that the snake was gone, a bunch of us pointed and said "the snake is in the can!" The ranger told him to hand over the can and guy said, "why can't I keep the snake?" What a fun pet, a poisonous snake. Now there's a pal to keep your feet warm at night.
On my way back to Hobbs I stopped to get gas in Carlsbad. And who was walking out of the store when I was going in? The wannabe snake stealer. Apparently I missed the big drama because he got into it in the store with some of the guys that reported him. He did get a hefty ticket and was really bitter about being reported. The people working at the store thought the whole thing was hilarious. I guess it isn't very often that people walk into your work place and get into an argument about snake stealing.
Once upon a time, I went to Carlsbad Caverns. My grandfather and his awful wife took me and two of my cousins. We wandered around the caverns but only to stop and look at the things that she wanted to stop for. We did not get any souvenirs or take any pictures. Apparently a certain someone didn't think that was necessary. We finished looking at the caves about thirty minutes before the bats come out of the natural entrance and that certain someone told us it was time to leave. Isn't seeing the bats one of the reasons you go to the caverns? I hadn't given it much thought since then (as I tend to block out disappointments), but being this close to Carlsbad Caverns made me think about how much resented not being able to see the bat flight. So today, I righted that wrong. I wandered around the caves and saw the things I wanted to see, took lots of pictures (I bought a new camera just for that purpose), spent way too much money in the gift shop, and then I watched the bats. It was one of the best days ever. Unfortunately, they don't let you photograph the bats so I took the picture from their website to give you an idea of how wonderful it was.
And don't worry this is my last sappy blog because there was some good stuff that happened there. Just tune in for more Pineapple Adventures.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Just Do It
I tried to take a picture of my hand but it wasn't descriptive enough. They say a picture is worth 1000 words so I've picked a different picture to go with the tale of the bully table. I have had enough that table and its bullshit so I decided to beat the crap out of it. My knuckle turned black instantly. For a while I was afraid that it was broken. Despite the fact that it is solid metal and my hand is merely flesh and bones I think I gave that table a run for its money. So I've decided my next career will be table boxing. Stayed turned for Round 2 of Pineapple v. Big Metal Table...
Make it Happen
Today was a fun day at work. I discovered someone else working on the same thing I am. I spent the rest of the day being sneaky by pulling books that don’t have anything to do with my work and spying on the other guy. Fun! In my subterfuge I ran across a really great name: Buena Vista Williams. “Beautiful Sight” Williams? Really? I thought my name was unusual…
So then I met these really cool guys that work out of Roswell. One of them told me that his wife was an alien and then we took a gum break together. No one has ever asked me if I had time to take a gum chewing break before. I just couldn’t pass that up even though I’m not much of a gum chewer. Turns out these guys were trying to figure out what I was up to! I got them on the subject of where they were from and it turns out one of them is from parts that I have family. Damn I’m good! I could start a career as an undercover agent…
Thursday, August 03, 2006
The three-judge panel from the 5th Circuit upheld the original ruling. Does this means the Republicans are done with Tommy because the 5th Circuit is a lot like the Legion of Doom (a.k.a The Texas Supreme Court). In other words, the 5th Circuit is usually manipulated by the puppet strings better known as the Grand Old Party. So, what will Tommy's next move be? Will he appeal to the full 5th Circuit (maybe it was a case of bad/liberal judges) or to the Supreme Court? Your guess is as good as mine. But even if he doesn't appeal, we can still look forward to his trial for money laundering and conspiracy charges related to corporate cash during 2002 legislative races. What fun!
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
That's right I just can't quite drop this whole scuba diving in New Mexico. So, next time you are in Lovington, New Mexico you could try to visit Divers of New Mexico (like I tried to today) but they seem to be closed. I really wanted to talk to them about their scuba lessons. I was hoping to have a great story about how I got certified to scuba dive in New Mexico. But alas, there just weren't enough people that saw the irony to keep them in business.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Monday, July 31, 2006
But this was not my first run in with health food today. While in Lovington I saw that there is a health food store across the street from the courthouse. Everything had been in there so long that all of the labels were sun bleached. Something tells me that if that stuff has been there that long that the food isn't so healthy. Just a thought.
As the Pineapple Parents were taking me to the airport I realized that I was wrong about my departure time. I thought my plane was leaving half an hour earlier than it was (guess that's better than thinking it was later). Then as I was getting out of the car I managed to slice open my finger. I was waiting to check my bag when I realized that it was gushing blood. Thankfully, they had a band aid to give me. Going through security was quick and easy, so naturally my plane was 20 minutes late. Way to add an hour to my waiting time. After getting a book and something to drink, I heard my name over the loud speaker. Since I was on the phone with Pineapple Mom, I didn't know why or where I was supposed to go. How lucky, I went to the right counter by accident. Southwest was putting me on another flight so I would not miss my connection. Right on... to Dallas... to wait for over an hour for my really late connecting flight. I don't know what happened yesterday, but it really slowed me down.
Since it was so late in the day, this was the last flight of the day for the crew on this plane. I don't know if the flight attendant is always this punchy, but she really cracked me up. Usually, I totally block out the plane lessons or whatever they are. Here are some of the finer points of her speech:
1. Here on Southwest we have a special smoking section. Its on the wing so if you can light it, you can smoke it.
2. We do not expect a sudden drop in cabin pressure and if we did, we wouldn't have come to work today.
3. Should the cabin lose pressure, stop screaming, let go your neighbor's leg and pull down on the oxygen mask. If you are sitting by a child or someone acting like a child secure your oxygen mask before helping them.
After that, I drove through the dark Panhandle to the lovely town of Hobbs.
Saturday, July 29, 2006
So after the Pineapple Parents leave, I go to the pet store to get food and dog tags. Let's just start this part of the story with the idea that I'm not really sure that I ever want to go back there again. I get behind this complete idiot in the parking lot that stopped for a minute or so before every speed bump. By the time the dumbass decided it was safe to drive over the bump, there would be a pedestrian walking. More waiting. I'm not really sure what, if anything, was going on in that dumbass' head but after an unusually long wait to drive over the speed bump I finally took to the horn. That did nothing but cause more confusion. After that, I just accepted the fact that it was going to take longer to navigate the parking lot than to drive to the store.
I finally parked and went into the store. I picked up the food and grabbed a couple of fun toys for the ladies. I get to the counter and naturally the pet tag machine is broken. Of course. Then the guy in line behind me started telling me that the toys I bought were too big for puppies. I told him that he didn't even know what kind of dogs I have. Where do people get off?
Finally I went home and all was well.