Friday, September 29, 2006

I hate Pizza [Updated]

Alright, I'll be a little bit more clear. I hate pizza places that have changing delivery boundaries. How can Conan's on 29th deliver to my house one week and not another? What kind of crap is that? I also hate Papa John's because they can't make a pizza with no cheese on half. What is the difference between cheese and other pizza toppings? It isn't like making pizza is like brain surgery or any thing. This evening MOTL and I had to take three different pizza places to task for not knowing where they deliver, changing where they deliver, and their inability to make a pizza without cheese on half. I suggest that if you want to let off some steam, you just call a pizza place that doesn't deliver to your house or try ordering a pizza without cheese on half from Papa Johns. You can get really angry and chew out some idiot stoner. Enjoy!

Here is the response I got from Customer Service On Sep 29, 2006, at 9:32 PM, wrote:

Thanks for the great feedback! Your compliments have been forwarded onto
the appropriate people for review and I am sure they will enjoy them as
much as we did.
Thanks again and have a great day!


Consumer Services Team

And this is my reply:

I'm not really sure why you thought that my complaint was a compliment. I find it interesting that my informing you of my terrible experience with Papa John's is enjoyable. This is just one more reason why I feel like your company should make some internal changes. I find it abhorrent that you find my displeasure with your service to be so fantastic.

Have a great day!

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Katrina, the neverending saga of destruction and corruption

On Monday night, MOTL and I were watching the Saints game. I am still baffled as to why they put Monday Night Football on a cable channel. But then again, I really don't care much about Monday Night Football (or professional football in general). But I digress. Anyway, there were all of these feel good comments about the symbolism of reopening the Superdome and how the Saints' victory was a metaphor for the recovery of New Orleans. For the most part I found it boring, but then little pieces of real information would slip out. It is real nice and all that the Saints are back in the Superdome, but if it was so important and profitable, why didn't Tom Benson pay for it? Why was FEMA money used? Why did they dedicate all of those man hours to rebuild a stadium when people don't have a place to live (I guess people can stay at the Superdome during away games)? And thank god that Hilton rushed everything so that they could provide the football players with a place to live (I guess they can't afford their own homes?). Even Spike Lee was talking about how the Superdome could save New Orleans. Are you kidding me? I lived in New Orleans for three years, I understand that tourism is a big part of the economy. But let's face the facts, the Quarter was basically untouched and how many people go to NO to see the "Aints"? I know I never went to see them when I lived there. The only time I went to the Superdome was to see the monster truck show. Honestly, that place should have been ripped down because it wasn't very nice before it got destroyed.

and in other news of sketchiness... State Farm is now suing two former employees for turning over evidence that it tried to avoid paying claims by manipulating engineering reports on homes damaged by Hurricane Katrina. I'm sure what they did was illegal, but what State Farm did was much worse. On the scale of justice do you illegally turn over information that proves more law breaking or do you sit back and watch the insurance companies rip people off and destroy lives?

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The Most Honest Speach Ever Given By Bush

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RIP Don Walser

Now there was a man that could yodel. I just don't understand how Austin can be kept weird when all of the weirdos keep leaving us. I used to love to see Don Walser play. And he played gigs well after he could get around without a lot of help from his wife. That is a true musician. Playing for the love of the music even when it was obviously very difficult to even get to the show. Occasionally, he would autograph photos. I still have the one he gave to me. It reads: "To __________. Smile! The sunshine is good for your teeth! Love, Don Walser" The last time I saw him play was at a friend's wedding reception a few years ago. I'm glad I went to say howdy and to tell him how much I loved his music and that I still had the photo he signed for me. One of the band members pulled me aside and told me that he had seen him sign a lot of photos, but none of them ever had that message. That just makes it more special. Don, you were a bad ass!

Spain, you are the bane of fashion's existence

People are still bitching about Spain's new rules about models. What a novel idea that someone should be healthy to do their job (especially one that is based on body appearance). My favorite is the bitch in the US with some modeling agency that is whining about how this new rule excludes models that are naturally thin and gazelle like. There is nothing natural about being able to see someone's bones poking through their skin. I think the medical term for that is: Eat or die! Cocaine, cigarettes, coffee, and laxatives are not food groups. OK, I'm done for now...

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Some things I learned today

There are a lot of cases of Polio in India. Apparently there is an urban legend that the vaccine is birth control that Westerners devised to stop the procreation of Muslims. That is a pretty sad statement about how we are viewed around the world.

Scarlett Johansson is not only happy with her curves, she would like to switch places with the President for the day. Anything would be better at this point. And I bet she would not have sent former commerce secretary Donald L. Evans to represent President Bush at Ann Richards' memorial. What an ass wipe. He could have at least sent someone that still works for him.

And Rachael Ray is annoying. Duh.

Monday, September 18, 2006

just so you know

I don't feel like blogging. I'll get back to you.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Where is Homeland Security When You Need Them?

I mean it is obvious that the terrorists are now attacking Popeye by targeting his power source. They have hit us where we are most vulnerable, our spinach supply. Next thing you know, they are going to put Kryptonite in our water supply. Come on people! Get with it!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

I'm going to have to let you go...

That's what I had to do to 3 people today. That sucks.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

I hope there are no silver feet or bushes wherever she is

I'm really sad because Ann Richards died. I remember the first time I met her. It was when she was campaigning to be County Commissioner in Travis County. She was block walking and I was lucky enough to answer the door. Because I wasn't supposed to open the door for strangers, I talked to her through the screen door. I liked her so much I told her that I had named my cat, Annie, after her. Of course, I had the cat before I had even heard of Ann Richards (but she was just that impressive). When she asked how old I was I showed her by holding up my hand. I was so little that I had to hold my hand like this:

A few days later, I got a note in the mail from her telling me how much she enjoyed meeting me and that she was honored that I had named my cat after her. I still have that note. What was really incredible was that the next time I met her, I was 21 and when I told her that the last time I met her I was this many (holding up my hand the same way I did when I was 3) she said she remembered that I had named my cat after her. What a great lady.

Ann Richards' quotes

"Poor George, he can't help it — he was born with a silver foot in his mouth."
— Keynote Address to the 1988 Democratic National Convention

"Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out."
— Recommendation to former president George H. W. Bush in 1992.

"Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels."

"If you think taking care of yourself is selfish, change your mind. If you don't, you're simply ducking your responsibilities."

"I have very strong feelings about how you lead your life. You always look ahead, you never look back."

"But I'll tell you something sort of interesting. There's something, you know, there's something a little scary about funny women. Well, they're threatening. And there was a survey done one time where they asked women what they were most afraid of from men. And the -- their response was they were most afraid of being hit or beaten or hurt from men. And they asked men what they were most afraid of from women, and they said being laughed at. "

"The public does not like you to mislead or represent yourself to be something you're not. And the other thing that the public really does like is the self-examination to say, you know, I'm not perfect. I'm just like you. They don't ask their public officials to be perfect. They just ask them to be smart, truthful, honest, and show a modicum of good sense."

"And the state of Texas, when I was governor, we built an awful lot of prisons. And to be frank with you, I made a deal, and the deal was that I would help pass the legislation and be for building a lot more prisons in Texas if I could get rehab programs for people who were alcoholics and drug abusers because I knew that over 80 percent of the crime committed in Texas was committed by people under the influence of alcohol or drugs. And unless you treat that alcoholism and you treat that drug addiction, when they go right back out on the street, you got a drunk or you've got an addict that is going to commit a crime again. "

"I am delighted to be here with you this evening because after listening to George Bush all these years, I figured you needed to know what a real Texas accent sounds like."
- 1988 keynote address, Democratic National Convention

"I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it."

Ann Richards on How to Be a Good Republican:
1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.
2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.
4. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.
5. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.
6. You have to believe...everything Rush Limbaugh says.
7. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.
8. You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.
9. You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.
10. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.
11. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
12. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.
13. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.
14. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
15. You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.
16. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
17. You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.
18. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher."

"Teaching was the hardest work I had ever done, and it remains the hardest work I have done to date."

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Sex is dangerous

Well, at least some sex toys are, says Greenpeace. I am so tired of people making things out of toxic materials. It is just stupid.

Friday, September 08, 2006


Since I like to get my morning entertainment news from Faux News Network, I hear some hilarious things. They have really been pushing this whole thing about Bush talking about how we are safer because of his administration, but that we still aren't safe. They quoted some poll that 30% of the people questioned believed that they were at risk of being attacked by terrorists where they live. For real? Let's put this in perspective. Most of the horrific things that have happened in this country, we have done to ourselves (Civil War, Oklahoma City Bombing, Unibomber, Kent State, etc.). Since become an independent nation we have suffered very few outside attacks: The War of 1812, The Japanese bombing Pearl Harbor and invading Alaska, a not so huge bombing of the World Trade Towers, and "9/11". That isn't much considering we have been pissing people off around the world for 230 years. I suggest living someplace that has actual bombings everyday before you go and say that we are in so much danger.

When I was in college, I wanted to go on a study abroad program to Israel and the Pineapple Mom absolutely forbade it because it was too dangerous there. Instead the Pineapple Parents financed a study abroad program in England. At this time, the IRA was going nuts with their car bombs. Of course, this wasn't so much on the news here because we never get good information from the mainstream media. My favorite was the day we were on the Tube and everybody was thrown off. Turns out there was a live bomb on the train. When we were being ushered out of the station, I asked what was going on and was told it was mechanical trouble. Yeah right, that's why they made us leave the station. But because I am a born smart ass, I sent the Pineapple Parents a postcard depicting the underground map and circled the stop I where we were ejected. I simply wrote: "The bomb was here." But the truth is, I was back riding trains that same day. Even after 9/11, I have never had any fear that I would be attacked by terrorists.

But getting back to our current situation just maybe we wouldn't be in so much "danger" if there was a different administration. Just a thought.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Portales is horrible

Portales looks like it would be alright, but it smells like urine, shit and chemicals. On closer inspection there are dead birds everywhere. I hope I don't ever have to go back after I finish my work there.

I need help

This is something the Pineapple Mom calls a "memory test." There was a children's show that was in English and Spanish and it had a guy dressed up like a bee and another guy dressed up as a lion (as well as a cast of regularly dressed adults and children). Does anyone know what I'm talking about?


I still have a bad taste in my mouth. Apparently, some of my fancy coconut body wash leaked in my travel bag. I was brushing my teeth before bed and the toothpaste got way too foamy and way too un-minty. I looked like I had rabies and I thought I was going to throw up. I thought stopping in Sudan the ultimate feed lot was sickening. But I can tell you that washing my mouth out with soap did not stop me from using foul language. Quite the opposite. Sailors would have been shocked.

Monday, September 04, 2006


Crocodiles all over the world have declared today V-day because their most notorious hunter, Steve Irwin is no more. It was a bittersweet victory as it was a stingray that caused his ultimate demise rather than the elite team of crocodiles that had been specially trained to hunt and devour their most well known predator. Many humans will miss the stupid and sometimes hilarious antics of The Crocodile Hunter. Jeff Corwin, his sissy counterpart, is generally found to be an unfit substitute because he hardly ever gets bitten or attacked by the animals showcased on his program. RIP Steve Irwin.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Saturday, September 02, 2006

RIP Nellie Connally

She was the last remaining survivor of those riding in the car when Kennedy was assassinated. According to the news story I read quoted her friend as saying Nellie's death was a "total surprise." Nellie Connally was 87. I just wish I had known that she was living in the old folks' home near where the Pineapple Parents live. I would have stopped in to visit her.

What song is this from?

My One True Love told me he was "perpetual" and I asked "a perpetual what?" His response was "I'm a mover, I'm a shaker, I'm an all night heartbreaker." Isn't this from a song?

Friday, September 01, 2006

I would have paid money to see this (but I wouldn't want to be too close)

So, tonight The Pineapple Parents' dog was barking a lot so The Pineapple Dad went into the backyard with a flashlight and a can of Lysol. A certain neighbor has been complaining that the dog has been barking at their wildlife refuge they have going on in their backyard, but that is a different story. Anyway, The Pineapple Parents' dog was barking at a skunk. Luckily the skunk was on the other side of the fence so the dog couldn't kill it (the way he killed a possum that had the misfortune to come into the yard last week). The Pineapple Dad sprayed the skunk with the Lysol, right in the face! It freaked out and ran back to the neighbor's compost pile that it calls home.