Sunday, December 24, 2006

Here comes Santa!

On Christmas Eve, do you ever wonder where Santa is? Well, thanks to your tax dollars and NORAD, you can track his progress. Just go to NORAD Tracks Santa to see where he is. Obviously, they haven't come much further than playing War Games with Matthew Broderick circa 1983.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Why doesn't god have better graphics?

And his music is really lame, too. Left Behind is a un-hip new game about an army of christians killing non-believers. AOL calls it a "positive moral message." How sweet. Killing people always has a positive moral message in my mind. So, if you want to kill non-believers with crappy graphics and really bad "religious" music, then this should be your christmas gift to yourself. God wants you to kill, kill, kill.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Here are somethings that I learned today

You know that federal excise tax on your phone bill? That was created to tax the rich people that had telephones to pay for the Spanish-American War. Just in case you are fuzzy on your history, it happened in 1898. Guess it has been paid off because they are taking it off the phone bill and if you can apply for a refund on your 2006 federal income tax form. Next on the agenda: dealing with the local excise tax. Assholes.

Did you know that when a man says he did all of the dishes, that it really means that he did all of the dishes he needed to cook his food?

Monday, December 11, 2006

Legally Blind? Well, that shouldn't stop you from hunting!

Well, at least not in Texas. Under Texas law, legally blind people are allowed to hunt under the supervision of a sighted person. However, no hunters are allowed to use laser sights. Apparently the light makes the animals stand still while you shoot them. Where is the sport in that? Well, Rep. Kuempel thinks that the legally blind should be able to use such sights while they hunt (you must carry proof that you are legally blind). Apparently there is some powerful contingent of legally blind hunters in Texas and he is taking up their cause. I had no idea. The Texas Concealed Handgun Association supports this legislation (no doubt other organizations will as well). What this has to do with your right to carry a concealed handgun in Texas I have no idea. I'm just glad that the our law makers will be taking up this and so many other important issues next session.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Friday, December 01, 2006

New Public Enemy Number One: Metal Detectors

I know. It sounds crazy, but the Travis County Commissioners Court has banned all metal detecting in county parks. Why, you ask? Because they may disturb antiquities. If these alleged antiquities are so damned important, why isn't the county actively looking for them? Just to make this clear, they aren't and they never have made any effort to do so. Really, the most valuable thing you could find in a park around here would be an arrowhead or dinosaur bones. Metal detectors don't even register that. These hobbyists are out there with their hand spades digging up lost change for the most part. It isn't like they are digging up the parks with a backhoe or anything. I say if the county is worried about money, make them buy a permit and fill up the hole they dig. What a waste of taxpayers money to spend hours discussing this issue when Travis county has real problems like an overburdened EMS and stupid toll roads ruining people's ranches. Get a life and get to some real work, assholes.