Yesterday, the Pineapple Family went to see Hamlet 2. We all laughed our asses off. Frankly, I am baffled as to why the reviews are so tepid and why our presence doubled the number of people in the theater. Why wouldn't people want to see a movie that features fantastic songs like "Rock Me Sexy Jesus", "Raped In The Face", and "You're As Gay As The Day Is Long"? Maybe the masses just don't get the funny. We all laughed from start to finish and still had the giggles after we left the theater. Steve Coogan was hilarious and Elisabeth Shue did a fantastic job of playing herself. I've already downloaded the soundtrack from iTunes so I can learn all of the songs. I plan to sing along next time I go see this movie. If you are looking for a good laugh, I highly recommend Hamlet 2.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Well I am back online and I'm itchy to blog, blog, blog. So much has happened since my disappearance from the wild wacky world of "The Internets". Obama picked Joe Biden as his running mate, the Democrats had a fantastic and historic convention, and then Mayor McCheese picked his beauty queen, I mean, running mate. So let's review...
While I was not surprised Obama picked Joe Biden, I was surprised by the 3 a.m. text message. I guess this blows Hillary's theory that Barack Obama is afraid to use the phone in the middle of the night. And Joe Biden rocks. He made a good choice and can't nobody argue with that.
THE CONVENTION, A RECAP:
Monday - Teddy Kennedy is always good. He's really come along way since he stopped driving drunk over bridges. Seriously though, he is a great man that has done a lot for this country and he deserves all the praise and kudos plus some. This Pineapple hopes that they can fix his brain cancer and he can continue to serve as long as the people want him. And Michelle was pretty awesome, too. I think it went a long way to show the people that she will be an excellent first lady. But the winner of the night? Those cute Obama girls! I hope they let the girls do some campaigning because they are super fun.
Tuesday - Was Hillary's night. She did what she needed to do and she did it well. And quite frankly, I got really tired of people implying she was doing it strictly so she could be president one day. One commentator even suggested that she and Bill would secretly vote for McCain in November. Let's be clear about this, I am no fan of Hillary Clinton. BUT these comments about her being too ambitious and having secret hopes that McCain will win are uncalled for. Yes, she was in it to win just like all of the other candidates. I'm sure it is disappointing to come in second. I know I wouldn't like it. BUT I think she was in it for the right reasons and now she want to pull the party together and kick John McCain's ass. And if she had given speeches like that throughout her campaign and steered clear of the negative shit, she probably would have been speaking on Thursday night instead.
Wednesday - Bill Clinton. Blah, blah. Good speech, blah, blah. Of note? His time limit was ten minutes and he took about twenty. But since we all know that would happen, don't you suspect that they told him he had ten minutes so he would give a twenty minute speech? He's like that friend that you lie about the time when you are meeting them somewhere. You know, you tell them 5:30 when you plan on meeting them at 6:00 because they are alway late. And then Joe Biden! It was like he had been reading my blog when he went on the attack of Mayor McCheese's policies. I was at home cheering him on and saying, "I wrote about that, too!" So now, I am convinced that Joe Biden reads my blog and I'm sticking with that no matter how implausible that is.
Thursday - Even Pat Buchanan agrees, Barack Obama rocked the house. And what a fantastic way to spend my birthday. Seriously. On Wednesday, I watched it live when the convention officially nominated Barack Obama by acclamation and was deeply moved. And Thursday really just hit the whole thing home for me. As always, Obama gave a great speech. He made some really great points, gave a solid plan on how he was going to meet his goals, and fixed it so that any one doing negative campaigning looks like a petty asshole. Good job!
SARAH "WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?" PALIN:
Because I am a political nerd, I had an idea of who she was before Mayor McCheese brought her into the train wreck that is is campaign, but had you? Probably not. I figured out he was naming her early on Friday morning (it was the rumor of the private jet flying from Anchorage to Cincinnati late Thursday night that clued me in). When I put my theory to one of the token republicans in my office, he pooh-poohed the idea as being ridiculous. I bet he's glad he didn't take the money bet now.
Frankly, I am so deeply offended by the choice and by her that she is getting her own blog entry. Well, one of many anyway. But let's just put his out here now. What kind of judgment is Mayor McCheese showing when he picks someone with virtually no experience, who's youth really accentuates his age, that he has only spoken to twice previously to making his decision, who is under investigation, and who lied the first time she spoke after being picked? I will leave the answer to you.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
So here are some of the blogs I could have written if I only had a new Apple with a battery that works:
1. Mayor McCheese Changes His Mind (Again): Flashback to Mayor McCheese's joke that he stopped beating his wife. So funny. Not! Now come back to the present day and picture Candy McCain standing by her man with a sling on her arm. She says she sprained it when she was shaking hands with an over zealous fan. Really? Because I thought maybe she ran into a wall. Or maybe she just related to the Glass Man (Amelie reference). But if her goofy ass outfit is any indication, they gave her some pretty strong drugs for that arm. Note to self: start shaking hands with over zealous fans.
2. Mayor McCheese Discovers The Wikipedia: After some speculation as to whether he has really learned how to use "The Internets" or "The Google" we find that he can use "The Wikipedia". After making a riveting speech about Georgia (no doubt his opinions carefully crafted by his campaign advisor that also doubles as a lobbyist for the country of Georgia), we discover that Mayor McCheese is also a contributing author to The Wikipedia. I mean how else could his speech and the entry for Georgia have three entire passages that say the same thing, word for word? And speaking of Georgia, I have also been enjoying the messages that the Georgian president has directed to Mayor McCheese. How nice that he is already owned by another country and he hasn't even been officially nominated?
3. Best Quote of the Week (so far): "I'm tired of being the middleman between crazy and crazier" Keesha of BB10 (referring to April and Libra during her screaming and crying freakout). I love irony!
So, I am trying to get this whole Crapple thing worked out. But until then, my blogging will be limited at best as I am not looking to get fired from my job. Wish me luck.
Monday, August 11, 2008
2. According People.com's latest news, Angelina Jolie hasn't picked a presidential candidate. And we care why? Has she become some sort of political expert since my Crapple stopped working over the weekend? And is so, wtf?
3. And speaking of president, according to the New York Times John McCain is on phone restriction to keep him from saying stupid shit (like that's going to help!). Apparently, he is prone to adopting the last opinion he heard. And people want him to lead a nation? And to that I say, wtf?
* Thank you, They Might Be Giants for this lesson in history.
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Friday, August 08, 2008
Thursday, August 07, 2008
In case you are wondering, Mayor McCheese is still offering these wonderful tire pressure gauges to people that donate $25 to his campaign.* I am almost tempted to donate because I would use that thing to check my tire pressure everyday. If you send me one, I will keep a log on my blog about my tire pressure.
So despite the mounting evidence that keeping your tires inflated really does make a difference, Mayor McCheese took his comedy act on the road. You know, visiting places like a nuclear plant and Sturgis. This is where things get interesting. This is when we find out what a pimp Mayor McCheese is. Pimp McCheesey again tells a bunch of bikers about the silliness behind the tire pressure thing (after some complete break down where he forgets how to speak the English language). But he doesn't stop by bashing on Obama's energy plan. Oh no. He tells these bikers that he is going to win the war "the right way, by winning." Which leaves me to wonder can you win a wrong way by winning? I don't know. So the kookiness doesn't stop there (because why would it?)-- he then suggests that Candy McCain could be the only person to serve as first lady and as Miss Buffalo Chip. I hope she likes bananas because eeeeeeeuw!
But really, the final blow to his campaign during my blogging absence? The fact that Paris Hilton has announced her candidacy. She should be president because she is hot and frankly, she has a better energy policy than Mayor McCheese. See for yourself:
The frightening thing? I kind of wish she would be part of the presidential debates because at this point PARIS HILTON IS MAKING MORE SENSE THAN JOHN MCCAIN. And how fucked up is that? Also, when Mayor McCheese will insult Obama by comparing him with the daughter of his campaign donors it makes you wonder how he treats people that don't contribute to his campaign. Maybe we should order some Obama tire pressure gauges after all.
*This is particularly hilarious because he has since admitted that, in fact, proper tire pressure does save gas.