Thursday, August 07, 2008

Mayor McCheese Pimps Out Candy McCain and other wonderful things

I bet you've been wondering where I have been the past few days. I mean Mayor McCheese has accomplished so much in the past few days. When he first started perfecting his comedy routine about the tire pressure thing, I was very tempted to jump all over it. I mean how funny is it that Mayor McCheese criticizes the idea that keeping your tires inflated can save gas when NASCAR has been promoting this for years Not only that, but Candy McCain did a publicity stunt at a race track just the day before Mayor McCheese started down this slippery slope. The irony continues when you realize that The Governator and Governor Crist (his most viable and likely running mate) were as recently as the week before promoting this tire pressure thing? Or that W was even on board with this crazy plan. But what I do know, is that I would love to have one of these:

In case you are wondering, Mayor McCheese is still offering these wonderful tire pressure gauges to people that donate $25 to his campaign.* I am almost tempted to donate because I would use that thing to check my tire pressure everyday. If you send me one, I will keep a log on my blog about my tire pressure.

So despite the mounting evidence that keeping your tires inflated really does make a difference, Mayor McCheese took his comedy act on the road. You know, visiting places like a nuclear plant and Sturgis. This is where things get interesting. This is when we find out what a pimp Mayor McCheese is. Pimp McCheesey again tells a bunch of bikers about the silliness behind the tire pressure thing (after some complete break down where he forgets how to speak the English language). But he doesn't stop by bashing on Obama's energy plan. Oh no. He tells these bikers that he is going to win the war "the right way, by winning." Which leaves me to wonder can you win a wrong way by winning? I don't know. So the kookiness doesn't stop there (because why would it?)-- he then suggests that Candy McCain could be the only person to serve as first lady and as Miss Buffalo Chip. I hope she likes bananas because eeeeeeeuw!

But really, the final blow to his campaign during my blogging absence? The fact that Paris Hilton has announced her candidacy. She should be president because she is hot and frankly, she has a better energy policy than Mayor McCheese. See for yourself:

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

The frightening thing? I kind of wish she would be part of the presidential debates because at this point PARIS HILTON IS MAKING MORE SENSE THAN JOHN MCCAIN. And how fucked up is that? Also, when Mayor McCheese will insult Obama by comparing him with the daughter of his campaign donors it makes you wonder how he treats people that don't contribute to his campaign. Maybe we should order some Obama tire pressure gauges after all.

*This is particularly hilarious because he has since admitted that, in fact, proper tire pressure does save gas.


mad said...

I've made fun of Paris, but you know like her video was fantabulously hilarious and awesome, so I won't make fun of her anymore.

See you at the debates, bitches.

Jill said...

We all know that Paris did not actually write the lines, but I was shall I say "very" impressed with her video. She does have talent, sort of. She really got McCain and that is priceless.

pineapple said...

mad: I almost feel bad about making fun of her for crying when she had to go back to jail. And, I too, loved the video, bitches!

jill: we all know she didn't actually write it, but she still sounded and looked good. I think she have even started eating, bitches!

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