Saturday, February 28, 2009

Sour Pineapples

My blogging has been spotty at best recently. More like non-existent with a splash of blog. And I really think I have to blame the Republicans for this one. How interesting is it to bitch about a bunch of out of touch fools that "just say no" to everything? The answer: it isn't. So where does it leave a Pineapple that is still full of resentment about all of the things the last administration jacked up? Basically, on that back shelf in that closet with all of the other broken record players. So all I can do now is muddle through all the "no" sayers and find a few little nuggets of blogginess. So here's my recap of last week.

Tuesday was President Obama's first address to Congress. Because it was his first, it wasn't called actually called a State of the Union Address. Instead he told us how fucked we are. And then he told us how we were going to fix things. And then he told us about people that were getting things done. I bet that girl never imagined that writing a letter to the president about how shitty her school is would land her on center stage during a nationally televised presidential speech. And on a absolutely superficial note, I loved Michelle's dress. Also, he told us he was going to start reforming our health system first thing on Wednesday. Obama is a bad ass.

But the best part of Tuesday night is that we were treated to a crazy speech from Bobby Jindal. Or was it Kenneth the Page? Obviously, Jindal doesn't have any gravitas. Just a wavy arm and a strange cadence to his speech that cannot be attributed to a Louisiana accent. It was also obvious that he watches Fox News and listens to Rush Limbaugh because he actually believes that there is a provision in the stimulus plan for a high speed train from Las Vegas to Disneyland. The "Harry Reid Train" is purely a Republican creation and does not appear in the stimulus plan or any other place on this planet. And then he used examples of the what happened under the Bush administration to explain why government is always bad. And then he played the Katrina card. Unfortunately Harry Lee is dead now and can't refute that bullshit story. And he would have too. Mostly because Bobby Jindal did not go to Jefferson Parish while they were rescuing people with boats. He was safely in Baton Rouge and only flew over New Orleans one time and DID NOT LAND THERE. Naturally, Jindal immediately took his family to Disney World and couldn't clear up his lie or discuss he uncanny resemblance to Kenneth the Page. Here is a scary idea: a Jindal-Palin ticket full of misinformation and an indecipherable web of lies.

But the big news is that the Obama girls are getting their dog in April! I can't wait to see all the pictures of them playing with their new puppy. Don't we all need some happy images right about now?

Thursday, February 26, 2009

I Heart Norman Gentle

He is by far the most entertaining thing to hit American Idol. I sure hope he makes it to the Final 12. Seriously. Simon hates him. The headband and the shiny shirt are hot. Isn't that enough to put him through?

Saturday, February 21, 2009

A Different Kind of Grocery List

Although we have a paper grocery list, sometimes MOTL uses this erasable board on the fridge to write down what he thinks we need from the store. It is truly unfortunate that I missed out on taking a picture of the last grocery list that MOTL made for me. The previous list included some pretty nasty things like "sand meat" and things I wouldn't want like "plastic cops".

This new list is a little more obtuse. For instance, the first item is: "japs". Am I supposed to pick up some Japanese at the store? That can't be right. "Cheeze" just sounds yucky. I don't even want to know where that is. And the last one is like a lawyer joke gone wrong. When you ask for "torts" are you asking me to get sued or sue someone at the store? That doesn't seem like a good idea. Upon questioning MOTL about the list I discovered that he wanted: jalapenos, cheese, and tortillas.

Friday, February 20, 2009

blogging is a lot like going to the gym...

... you skip a couple of days and next thing you know it has been weeks since you considered writing anything. And honestly, I haven't been compelled to really bitch about much. It seems that my dissatisfaction with the world has been a driving force behind this blog. I guess I really am a bitch. Recently my biggest complaint has been that they don't tell me enough about the Obama girls. Do they like living in the White House? What are they wearing (because they wear the cutest outfits ever!)? How is the hunt for the puppy going? I'm tired of all the bad news. That, and I really love the Obama girls. It makes me smile every time I see them. And don't we need more of that? Personally, I'm looking for some of that hope that the president promised.

So why blog today? Because my muse has made a cameo appearance, that's why! I will almost always blog about my muse and good buddy Alberto Gonzales. He did sign my law license after all. I guess I owe him something for that (read into that what you will). So here's the deal: he's agreed to cooperate with a truth committee (whatever the fuck that is) so long as its truth they are talking about and it doesn't get politicized. And that's how my muse rolls. Karl Rove is screwing around with "executive privilege" while my muse goes straight to redefining the rules. If you don't like what they are asking about you don't have to cooperate because they aren't talking about the truth any more. Guess that lawyer training did pay off after all. It certainly didn't help with that job he had where he was defending the Constitution or whatever it was the American people expected him to do. So I say bring on this "truth commission" thing because I miss my muse.