Saturday, July 29, 2006

The next edition of the Saturday edition

After all of the stupidity of my day, I was pleased to have a new fancy phone. I don't have to pay for ringtones because I can send songs from my computer directly to my phone. Cool! So naturally, I drove right past the pet store and went to the house to show my one true love my cool new gadget. After doing a quick clean up of the house, the Pineapple Parents stopped by with some dinner and then I remembered what I forgot to do. Get the dogs some food and pet tags. By the way, have I mentioned that I have the greatest parents on earth? The Pineapple Parents are cool.

So after the Pineapple Parents leave, I go to the pet store to get food and dog tags. Let's just start this part of the story with the idea that I'm not really sure that I ever want to go back there again. I get behind this complete idiot in the parking lot that stopped for a minute or so before every speed bump. By the time the dumbass decided it was safe to drive over the bump, there would be a pedestrian walking. More waiting. I'm not really sure what, if anything, was going on in that dumbass' head but after an unusually long wait to drive over the speed bump I finally took to the horn. That did nothing but cause more confusion. After that, I just accepted the fact that it was going to take longer to navigate the parking lot than to drive to the store.

I finally parked and went into the store. I picked up the food and grabbed a couple of fun toys for the ladies. I get to the counter and naturally the pet tag machine is broken. Of course. Then the guy in line behind me started telling me that the toys I bought were too big for puppies. I told him that he didn't even know what kind of dogs I have. Where do people get off?

Finally I went home and all was well.

The End


mad said...

One day on the freeway a South Asian woman in a sari swerved her piece of crap Datsun across a couple of lanes and forced me to swerve. Irate and cussing, I leaned on the car horn. As I passed her, I noticed her expression of abject fear. Was it her first time on the freeway? Was she running away from an abusive husband? Was she late to work? Was she driving to the hospital because of a sick child? I don't really know. But suddenly I felt like an asshole. Ever since then I took a vow of non-horn honking. And you know what? Shitty drivers still piss me off -- royally. But now I feel totally superior.

BTW, you really karaoke on your front porch? Outstanding.

pineapple said...

I really karaoke on my front porch. The neighbors love me.

mad said...

I'll bet, especially if you were doing old Kinky Friedman stuff Like "Asshole from El Paso." Personally, I would consider it free live music, and I always drop a buck on street musicians , especially the mariachis on Olvera Street in downtown L.A.