Saturday, July 29, 2006

Insanity, Pineapple style -- Saturday's edition

This morning started off on the right foot, so why did it go so wrong? All I needed to do was fill two prescriptions and buy a new phone. How hard could that be? Trust me, hard. The first pharmacy didn't have one of them, the second pharmacy didn't have the other. The third pharmacy had both, but my insurance wont let me pick one up until tomorrow. I hate the insurance company.

Next thing, the phone. My phone is a piece of shit and you can't hear what anyone is saying so I have to use the speakerphone. No such thing as a private conversation. I went to the Cingular store and was told that because I am not a profitable customer that they couldn't give me a discount on a new phone. I think I would have taken it better if they had just told me that because of my contract, they couldn't give me a cheap phone. The fact that I have been a customer since 1999 and I bought a new phone at full price in December, I don't think that I am breaking the bank for Cingular. And if the plan they gave me is not a profitable one, and they offered the same deal to millions of other customers then why haven't they folded? The thing that really pushed me over the edge is when the sales rep told me that if I couldn't afford to buy a phone I could just buy one on Craig's List. I made a brilliant scene at the store and left. Still no working phone.

In the middle of all of this bullshit, I have this new lawyer we hired to help on the new big project calling me every five minutes asking me things like how to rent a car. Are you fucking kidding me? Then it gets better, he's lost his driver's license. Now instead of meeting me in New Mexico on Sunday night he will be there Monday (or maybe someday). I'm so glad that I'm going to have to hold his goddamn hand. We found a really good attorney, but she had a family emergency.

So then I stopped by my The Pineapple Parents' house to say hello. I ate a sandwich and vented. They are so great. But then my dad tricked me into helping him repair the vacuum. That was fun since he really isn't a fix it kind of guy. I really liked it when he turned it on and it tried to attack me. I don't like being run over by vacuum cleaners.

So, it was off for round two of phone buying. Obviously, I had to go to a different store. I was helped by the sweetest gay boy and left with a princess phone (it is pink after all).

The End


mad said...

Wow, and I thought it sucked to be me. I pretty much hate phone people. Every time I deal with Verizon to get an upgrade or something, it takes another three phone calls to get the shit straight.

I'm not quite sure how the vacuum cleaner attacked you, but it must've been a sight, heh.

pineapple said...

Being attacked by a vacuum cleaner goes something like this. When it gets plugged in, it comes right at you really fast (kind of like the killer vacuum cleaner in Mr. Mom). Then you scream "holy fuck" while jumping. Then when it hits you, you turn it off and a big metal piece falls off the bottom.