Thursday, July 06, 2006

Where have all the brothels gone?

Today started out with a disappointment on my part. On my way back from Houston last Friday I saw a huge billboard with a picture of a cartoon beaver and it simply read "75 miles."” Unfortunately, my exit was well before the "“75 mile beaver place"” so I never found out what it was. I had all sorts of ideas of what it could be. I was really hoping it was a billboard for a brothel and it was code for "“you can get laid in 75 miles"”. Today as I was driving to Goliad I saw the same sign, but it was 32 miles away. I thought, "“holy shit, I found the brothel!"” But no. It was not a brother at all. It was some huge convenience store/gas station/truck stop called Buc-ee'’s. How lame. Texas needs a new Chicken Ranch (a/k/a The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas).

Goliad was, well, Goliad. I'’ve already pointed out some its finer points in a previous blog. However, there was one thing I missed the last time around and it was staring right at me when I walked into the County Clerk'’s office. A sign that read:"Good Morning, This is GOD! I will be handling all your problems today. I do not need your help so have a good day." Fuck the First Amendment.

Then it was off to George West for more fun and games. Not that exciting of a drive unless you are a rancher because I'’ve never seen this part of Texas so green this time of year. Although we are still technically in a drought all of the rain weÂ've had lately is a good thing. If you are not a rancher, I have something interesting for you. As I was leaving Beeville, I saw a warning sign on the side of the road that had a picture of a horse pulling a buggy. What the hell? Is there an Amish community in Beeville that I don'’t know about?


mad said...

God works in the county clerk's office in Goliad. Wow. I wonder if that's an elected position. If so, what happens if God were to lose?

pineapple said...

I guess God can go get a job at the Buc-ee's