Monday, September 08, 2008

Why The McCain/Palin Ticket Is Good For My Ass

Because I have lost 5 pounds since Mayor McCheese named The Runner Up as his running mate. Every time I go to the gym, there is a bunch of crap on the TV that I am not interested in so I find myself in front of the one with CNN. Then I start watching Mayor McCheese spouting off about how lobbyists aren't going to be running Washington if he wins even though they are running his campaign. Then I watch the lies The Runner Up is telling about the bridge to nowhere that she took the money for and spent on something else, the plane that she didn't sell on eBay but through an aviation broker at a loss, and the cook she didn't really fire. Then they both tell lies about Barack Obama.* And I get mad. Really mad. And then I think, "this fucking treadmill is going too slow." So I speed it up. And then I get mad about something else, but it is almost time for me to go so I add some time to the machine so I can watch that one last story. And then I get mad and speed up the machine some more. Since I am in a public forum, I can't throw shoes at the TV or cuss up a storm. Instead it becomes an angry walking frenzy. At this rate I am going to be a runner by election day. And I am wildly against running unless I am running for my life or towards a huge pile of cash. What assholes.

* For example, unless you make over $250,000 a year or own a corporation that shipped its jobs overseas you will not be paying higher taxes. You will get a tax cut under Barack Obama's plan. However, John McCain wants to count your benefits as taxable income. Thus, you will be "making" more but taking home less because you will be paying more in taxes.




3 comments:

Jill said...

I so agree. One of the many things that bothers me about the "dynamic duo" is how many women are impressed by them. I just hope their other shoe drops soon. It could be a long four years with them in Washington.

mad said...

Just think how many pounds you'll shed after those a-holes win the election. I looked into the future and saw nothing but the same stupid voters that elected Bush twice.

pineapple said...

jill: and my ass would get really small. I don't think I can take 4 years of frenzied treadmill...

mad: noooooooooo! don't say such crappy things. my legs are tired just thinking about it.