Sunday, September 07, 2008

The Runner-Up

Meet Sarah Palin, queen of the least populated state in the nation! The Republicans claim she is the most popular governor in the nation with a 90% approval rating! But what does it mean when you are the most popular big fish in the littlest pond? Really, not a whole lot. But the upside of the Runner-Up? Apparently she likes to give the people hugs everywhere she goes! Also, several people have said she is a VPILF. Now, that's hot!

After months of bashing Barack Obama for his lack of experience, Mayor McCheese comes out of the gate with Sarah Palin, the Runner-Up. A choice that really hits this experience argument out of the park. The Runner-Up is a beauty queen turned politician. She has extensive experience running a town of less than 7,000 because she was on the city council of Wasilla, Alaska, from 1992 to 1996, then served two terms as mayor of Wasilla from 1996 to 2002. She was unsuccessful in her 2002 bid for Lt. Governor, but was elected Governor of Alaska in 2006. So what is the next career choice for someone running the least populated state for under two years? Well, Vice President of course. And as Steve Doocy of Fox News has so helpfully pointed out, her foreign affairs experience is extensive:




So now that we know that The Runner-Up is super qualified to take over should something happen to the 1000 year old Mayor McCheese, let's look at the moose meat and potatoes of what she stands for.*

The Environment: We should drill, drill, drill. That is how we make Alaska rich, I mean end our dependence on foreign oil. And greenhouse emissions and global warming are not caused by anything man does.

Women's Issues: Your body is not your own. The government will tell you what you can or cannot do with it. You have now become a vessel for my god.

The Economy: I will tell lies about "our opponent" so that you think that you will be harmed by his policies to make the tax system more equitable. We are all going to benefit from the tax cuts the top 1% get. You do not need your own, communist.

Personal Attacks: I can say what ever I want about you (now matter how untrue or snotty it is), but as soon as you question me that is sexism.



*I will discuss her "record" in a later post.

4 comments:

mad said...

Pluse she advocates killing Bullwinkle! (and probably Rocky too).

pineapple said...

Not just killing them, but eating them too! She also shoots wolves from planes. While I am not against hunting (I am from Texas after all), that doesn't seem very sporting. She has no respect for the ecosystem. Don't get me started!

Jill said...

And just wait until they get rid of pro choice. Women will die.

pineapple said...

and wont that be super fun! those people need to pay more attention to their own personal decisions and their own morality.