Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Temp-orary Insanity

Today was my big interview at the temp agency. What a strange experience. I just to be clear, I did dress like I was going to an interview. Confused by this statement? Then read this blog entry first. Apparently, they don't tell everyone about the dress code or not everyone understands what this means. It is really hard to tell. But I am pretty sure that most likely wearing faded and ripped jeans is not the best way to make a good first impression no matter where you go. An impression? Yes. Good? Not so much.

My case worker (I don't think that is really her job title, but that's what I will call her) claims she will find me a permanent position really soon. I'm not sure how thrilled I am about what she thinks she is going to find because she really didn't understand what it was I did at my last job. How can you sell someone's skill set when you don't get it yourself? I also question her judgment because she suggested I remove pertinent information from my resume and use bullet points and a bunch of other stupid formatting. Since I have experience reviewing resumes, I know that this is a bad idea. Especially since my job experience is exactly what is going to get me another job that requires my job experience.

Because my case worker really only does permanent placement, she sent me over the temporary placement side to get work immediately. This is where it got a little interesting. Case worker #2 and I talked for a while and then she decided what tests I needed to take so she could get cracking on my fabulous new career in temp work. I took two tests to determine my data entry skills, a typing test, and a receptionist test. Just for the record, my data entry skills are "good". Yay me. I type 41 words per minute, but I wonder how much better I would have done had the keyboard been fully functional. I'm just saying.

My score on the receptionist test was "good" as well. Though I really have to question this. The instructions claimed that each question only had one correct answer, but as best I could tell some of them did not have any right answers. When case worker #2 saw this score she said that she guessed if the crazy lunatic with a gun came in (yes, this was a test question) that I would chose the option to shoot him first. Although this was not really an option on the test, it was my first thought. I have been a receptionist (and I was good at it), but I am not the best gate keeper when the person trying to get in the gate is rude, stupid, or both. At this point in the relationship, I am not a nice person. This was not reflected in my score because my tolerance level would have gotten me a failing score. But since they did not test my patience, I passed. Did I mention that the whole time I was taking my tests, that some other poor soul was watching a video at full blast about his new career in the medical field? Well, now you know. And now I know all about hepatitis, HIV/AIDS and how to spot someone that has jaundice. Considering I learned all of this while demonstrating the mediocrity of my office skills I think my score should be increased accordingly.

After all of this, her big lead was a temporary position cooking at the Salvation Army.


12 comments:

pissed off patricia said...

Bless your heart, I did a stint a long time ago at a temp agency. The first job they sent me to was as a secy. for a construction company for one day. I picked up the key went to the office and opened up. The phone began to ring off the wall.
Seems this was the last day for contractors to call in their bids for some job. They were telling me numbers and using terms that I was totally unfamiliar with.

I have no idea what happened the next day when the regular secy came back, but I'm betting it wasn't good.

mad said...

Hahaha. But they didn't test you on cooking skills!

I worked for a temp agency called Kelly Girl back in college. They did even bother to give me the mandatory typing test. The first job they sent me on was to hand out cigarette samples on the street. Fortunately, I didn't have to wear a costume. Needless to say, I didn't have to buy cigarettes for a week!

pineapple said...

pop: I think I would rather do that than cook at the Salvation Army. I decided to turn that and the cashier job in another town down. case worker #2 has got to do better than that.

mad: you were a kelly girl? awesome!

Jill said...

I feel your pain. I've been looking for a year. I sometimes feel that life has passed me by. For years I worked in medical records, coding and medical insurance billing. Now I would have to go back to school and get certified to do that. I have forgotten more than most of those people will ever know. Then again, I can barely type 35wpm, dont know Excel,bookkeeping software or speak Spanish. Guess that qualifies me for pooper scooper?

pineapple said...

there's no telling what you are qualified for if being a lawyer qualifies me to cook...

mad said...

Yup, I was a Kelly Girl. I wear that badge proudly. Too bad they took the girl out of Kelly Girl.

Only Grrrl said...

Pineapple: I feel so sad after reading or your job hunting adventures. You are way too brilliant for those people.

pineapple said...

find me a job and be sad no more!

Nervana said...

i "RAN" a permanent personnel agency for almost fifteen years. All i can tell you is this......the average IQ of my employees was slightly above that of a guppie. If you didn't fit into an already "asked for" position......you got stuffed in a drawer.
NO ONE can present YOU as well as YOU. It's hard work to find work. Just keep going out there.....take the rejection, accept the humiliation, expect the degradation, and pretty soon.....you're the perfect partner for a dysfunctional relationship.
i'm sorry. it hurts me.
HOWEVER......i really need a cook. Just for a couple of weeks. Can you make meals devoid of nutrition, filled with empty calories and stuffed with sugar????????call me.....no resume required. no bullet points needed.

Only Grrrl said...

I love Nervana. You should totally go stay with her for a few days! She just counseled a friend who was in a similarly dismal unemployment situation and ... voila! He got a job the very next week.

Print up a bunch of resumes and a lawyerly cover letter for me and I'll shop them around with lawyers and lobbyists I know. xoxo

Nervana said...

i cannot believe that Only Grrrl said "VOILA"!
But.....she's right. you need to come here and get your karma re-arranged. this i can do. requires no muscles no strong bones no thought......just my spirit. which works very well.....even on those with "legal" backgrounds. what've you got to lose? you left your dignity behind at the temp interview. COME ON!!!!

pineapple said...

nervana: a trip to club katy would be awesome and I can cook lots of sugary, anti-health food. but i've decided that this is the week my luck is turning around. if that doesn't pan out, i may run away and end up at your door. my horoscope was really bad today and i avoided the predicted hell, so i'm thinking things are looking up.