Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Bitter Is The New Pineapple

I think I am about to start living Bitter Is The New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass,Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office. If you haven't read this book, then you wouldn't know that it is about Jen Lancaster's experiences after being laid-off when the tech boom went bust. It chronicles her insane job interviews and some of the temp jobs she had. A particular favorite is the temp job where the woman, that told her what her duties would be, insisted she take notes on things like how to get to the bathroom and how to make copies. Ms. Lancaster then started writing down bitchy and sarcastic remarks about everything she was told. I laughed so hard I cried. I guess I should have been crying because her experiences are now mine.

Over the past few months I have applied for I don't know how many lawyer jobs. I've even had some good interviews. I've tried to get on with legal placement people for temporary work, but every time they have a project it gets canceled and it never pans out. I decided that I need to do something that earns income so I have been trying to get on with a non-legal temp agency. I haven't been successful because of that whole being a licensed attorney thing really puts them off. They seem to think that I won't be interested in the work they have. At this point, if they will pay me I am interested. So I decided it was time to change my tactics. In my cover letter I practically apologize for my short coming of being a lawyer and point out my job experience from before my lawyering days. This experience makes me a perfect candidate for temp work. I guess it finally worked because I just got a message from a non-legal temp agency for an interview. When I called back, I was told what I needed to bring to the interview and then the woman I spoke to told me that I should dress like I would for a job interview. I'm wondering what part of getting called for an interview would have given me the idea that I should dress like I was going to one? I can't wait to get a job an untrained monkey could do the job and where people treat me like I am stupid, because I will finally have something to blog about and being able to buy groceries will be a nice bonus.


mad said...

Shit, Pineapple, I'm kinda torn. Being unemployed means you post more, but on the other hand I don't want you to become homeless, then you couldn't post at all. Wish I could find you a gig that pays you lots but requires that you don't actually have to go to no stinkin office.

pineapple said...

me too. when I have the money to play, I but lottery tickets but that hasn't worked out yet. but I keep trying because someone has to win right?