Saturday, November 29, 2008

How "New Math" Can Save The Economy

"They"* are saying that people spent more this year on "Black Friday" than last year. Personally I have a hard time believing this story. I never go shopping the day after Thanksgiving mostly because large crowds of fools make me prone to rage. However, this year The Pineapple Mom lured me to the stores and I can report no rage. Not even any almost rage. Mostly because of the no people. Which was good because there wasn't much to buy. I walked away with a pair of socks and $18 pants (they were originally $70 -- what a deal!). I hardly think my small purchases really contributed to this big shopping day that the media is claiming. And with the exception of the Walmart where someone died, I wonder where all the people were. Or maybe they were all there. At that one Walmart. Because they weren't where I was. I also have a hard time believing that there is anything in a Walmart that is worth dying over or killing for. But what do I know.

In the end, I think "they" are coming up with these figures using what The Pineapple Mom always called "New Math". I'm not really sure what "New Math" is, although that term got thrown around The Pineapple House a lot about the time I got to high school.** I always thought that's what you accused math of being when either (a) you don't know how to do the math and you need an out that doesn't make you look ignorant or (b) what you call it when dumb people make shit up and claim they got there by using math. Either way, no one can confirm or deny the result. Therefore, we had a great day for the economy even though people only showed up to one Walmart in the entire country.

*I don't know who "they" is. For all I know, it is Bob From Mars.
**It was not helpful to be told what I was doing was "New Math" when I was asking for help with my homework. And then ironic when I got in trouble for making Cs when no one at home could figure it out either. I'm just saying!


mad said...

I was in Las Vegas (or near Las Vegas) for t-day and there weren't any crowds there either. Well, except for those fat people in the elevator.

Only Grrrl said...

I was hibernating that day... I can report that BookPeople was fairly crowded on Saturday... and they were all out of Twilight!

pineapple said...

mad: hopefully the fat people in the elevator stayed there. because that would suck if they followed you home. creepy, too.

only grrrl: that place is always crowded. it is like every white person in town has to go hang out there on saturdays before they go across the street to wander around aimlessly in the whole foods.

Jill said...

All those Black Friday shoppers are going to get a shock when they discover that the bargains they fought for will be cheaper later. Me, I went once, never again.

pineapple said...

jill: the deals weren't all that. which is why I only bought one thing. but no matter what the price, no TV is worth killing for.