Reporting Live from Austin, Texas!

That's right, once again this Pineapple has access to the entire internet. Not just the parts I could access at work. First, I'd like to thank those who were concerned about my computer troubles. Turns out that your dogs can only yank the power cord out of your Apple so many time before it just won't work anymore. Touchy little bugger, huh? Actually, the Crapple had been transformed back to its normal state of Apple early last week, but since I am living in such a strong economy (isn't that what Mayor McCheese said?)I had to forgo picking it up and use the last of my pay check for another luxury item called electricity. I picked air conditioning over that other luxury item called food. It's been pantry surprise at my house for a while now. I am eating those canned items you always wonder why you bought them in the first place. Now that I have been eating them, I can't say that I have a good answer. Who needs a can of unsalted garbanzo beans? I still haven't been hungry enough to figure out what i meant to do with that one. But the beauty of living in a strong economy where your paycheck stays the same size while the price of everything goes up, is that you have the opportunity to clean out your pantry in a creative way, right?

Well I am back online and I'm itchy to blog, blog, blog. So much has happened since my disappearance from the wild wacky world of "The Internets". Obama picked Joe Biden as his running mate, the Democrats had a fantastic and historic convention, and then Mayor McCheese picked his beauty queen, I mean, running mate. So let's review...

JOE BIDEN:

While I was not surprised Obama picked Joe Biden, I was surprised by the 3 a.m. text message. I guess this blows Hillary's theory that Barack Obama is afraid to use the phone in the middle of the night. And Joe Biden rocks. He made a good choice and can't nobody argue with that.

THE CONVENTION, A RECAP:

Monday - Teddy Kennedy is always good. He's really come along way since he stopped driving drunk over bridges. Seriously though, he is a great man that has done a lot for this country and he deserves all the praise and kudos plus some. This Pineapple hopes that they can fix his brain cancer and he can continue to serve as long as the people want him. And Michelle was pretty awesome, too. I think it went a long way to show the people that she will be an excellent first lady. But the winner of the night? Those cute Obama girls! I hope they let the girls do some campaigning because they are super fun.

Tuesday - Was Hillary's night. She did what she needed to do and she did it well. And quite frankly, I got really tired of people implying she was doing it strictly so she could be president one day. One commentator even suggested that she and Bill would secretly vote for McCain in November. Let's be clear about this, I am no fan of Hillary Clinton. BUT these comments about her being too ambitious and having secret hopes that McCain will win are uncalled for. Yes, she was in it to win just like all of the other candidates. I'm sure it is disappointing to come in second. I know I wouldn't like it. BUT I think she was in it for the right reasons and now she want to pull the party together and kick John McCain's ass. And if she had given speeches like that throughout her campaign and steered clear of the negative shit, she probably would have been speaking on Thursday night instead.

Wednesday - Bill Clinton. Blah, blah. Good speech, blah, blah. Of note? His time limit was ten minutes and he took about twenty. But since we all know that would happen, don't you suspect that they told him he had ten minutes so he would give a twenty minute speech? He's like that friend that you lie about the time when you are meeting them somewhere. You know, you tell them 5:30 when you plan on meeting them at 6:00 because they are alway late. And then Joe Biden! It was like he had been reading my blog when he went on the attack of Mayor McCheese's policies. I was at home cheering him on and saying, "I wrote about that, too!" So now, I am convinced that Joe Biden reads my blog and I'm sticking with that no matter how implausible that is.

Thursday - Even Pat Buchanan agrees, Barack Obama rocked the house. And what a fantastic way to spend my birthday. Seriously. On Wednesday, I watched it live when the convention officially nominated Barack Obama by acclamation and was deeply moved. And Thursday really just hit the whole thing home for me. As always, Obama gave a great speech. He made some really great points, gave a solid plan on how he was going to meet his goals, and fixed it so that any one doing negative campaigning looks like a petty asshole. Good job!

SARAH "WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?" PALIN:

Because I am a political nerd, I had an idea of who she was before Mayor McCheese brought her into the train wreck that is is campaign, but had you? Probably not. I figured out he was naming her early on Friday morning (it was the rumor of the private jet flying from Anchorage to Cincinnati late Thursday night that clued me in). When I put my theory to one of the token republicans in my office, he pooh-poohed the idea as being ridiculous. I bet he's glad he didn't take the money bet now.

Frankly, I am so deeply offended by the choice and by her that she is getting her own blog entry. Well, one of many anyway. But let's just put his out here now. What kind of judgment is Mayor McCheese showing when he picks someone with virtually no experience, who's youth really accentuates his age, that he has only spoken to twice previously to making his decision, who is under investigation, and who lied the first time she spoke after being picked? I will leave the answer to you.

tags: The Return of The Pineapple Report Politics Election 2008 President Barack Obama Michelle Obama HIllary Clinton Bill Clinton Joe Biden Democratic Convention Denver Pat Buchanan John McCain Sarah Palin