The Pineapple Report: The New Summer Dance Craze

So this is how this summer's dance craze goes. First you roll your eyes because some woman has asked you a question about something trivial like women's health issues. Then you start to hem and haw because you don't really have much to say. You can spice it up with a little stuttering and sputtering. Then you squirm, squirm, squirm! Then you lather, rinse, repeat. Oh wait, that's how you wash your hair...

I'm so glad he hasn't given this much thought. Mostly because it just isn't all that important. It really is much more important for old men to be able to get it up than for women to prevent pregnancy. My uterus feels better already. Of course, I don't think McSame has given a lot of thought to his other votes about abortion, contraception, or health care in general. It is just another example of his "authenticity" I suppose.

Wondering where John McCain stands on some of these so-called health issues? (This is especially for you wing-nuts that are so bent out of shape that Hillary isn't the nominee that you plan on voting for McSame). Here are some examples why he is not an advocate for you:

* Supports repealing Roe v. Wade. (May 2007)
* Voted YES on defining unborn child as eligible for SCHIP. (Mar 2008)
* Voted YES on barring HHS grants to organizations that perform abortions. (Oct 2007)
* Voted YES on notifying parents of minors who get out-of-state abortions. (Jul 2006)
* Voted NO on $100M to reduce teen pregnancy by education & contraceptives. (Mar 2005)
* Voted YES on banning partial birth abortions except for maternal life. (Mar 2003)
* Voted YES on maintaining ban on Military Base Abortions. (Jun 2000)
* Voted YES on banning partial birth abortions. (Oct 1999)
* Rated 75% by the NRLC, indicating a mixed record on abortion. (Dec 2006)
* Voted NO on expanding enrollment period for Medicare Part D. (Feb 2006)
* Voted NO on $40 billion per year for limited Medicare prescription drug benefit. (Jun 2003)
* Voted YES on funding GOP version of Medicare prescription drug benefit. (Apr 2001)
* Voted NO on including prescription drugs under Medicare. (Jun 2000
* Voted NO on Medicare means-testing. (Jun 1997)
* Voted NO on expanding SCHIP (Aug 2007)

Please note that this is a sampling from the votes he actually cast. Apparently, he is also really good absenteeism. He has missed 62.6% of the votes cast this session. But there will be more on that later.

So, some things to look forward to under a John McSame administration? No abortion (whore), no public financing for institutions that may provide abortions (still, you're a whore), no requirement that insurance companies pay for birth control (or anything else), no educating teens about pregnancy and contraception (that abstinence only stuff is working -- you can tell by the increase in teen pregnancies!), no prescription drug benefits for people on Medicare (he and all those other old people will die soon anyway, right?), and possibly a ban on all health care (walk it off, sissy). Sounds like fun! I'm already doing the McSquirm!