It Really Is Like Christmas In July!

I don't even know where to begin with all of this. Right now, I can't decide which is more overpowering: the excitement or the outrage. I guess it is always exciting to see an old friend in the news again. And admittedly I got a case of the giggles when I saw his name in the news alert this afternoon. (What can I say? The email servers at my work were down and I had to check some email even if it was my personal email.) So who else could bring me such joy and pain? Alberto Gonzales, of course! Happy, happy, joy, joy! I knew he'd be back!

But I'm getting a little off track here. Happy, happy, joy, joy! Of course, no one could ever say that of an interview conducted by the rabidly obsessed Monica Goodling (and star minion to Alberto Gonzales). If it weren't for the pointed questions about Baby Boy Bush and the Republican party, you might think you were interviewing for a cult or possibly Lord Voldemort's steno pool. This law graduate of Regent University (you know, the one founded by television evangelist Pat Robertson) and everyone else at the ironically named Department of Justice* apparently missed the part of Con Law where they talked about hiring and firing people from career government jobs based on political views. Every 2L knows you can't base your hiring and firing policies for career employees based on political whims. Except for the ones that go on to work at the DOJ, apparently.

This basic point of law also raised some serious questions about the persons drafting the report on the hiring policies. Did I mention that they also work at the ironically named Department of Justice**? There should be alarms going off in your head when you get to the part about how the DOJ has confusing rules regarding their hiring and firing policies. Really. Not so confusing. See any Constitutional Law book used at any accredited law school in the nation. It seems that you don't like the rules, is all. Because they are not confusing.

And speaking about having questions. Alberto's minions were asking such fine interview questions. Here are some example of the interview questions [sample answers included!]:

1. What is it about George W. Bush that makes you want to serve him? [Answer: All hail the master!]

2. Aside from the President, give us an example of someone currently or recently in public service who you admire. [Answer: I really admire the work that Richard Nixon did. And that Watergate thing? He was totally framed!]

3. Why are you a Republican? [Answer: Because they told me to!]

I really look forward to studying this report in detail because I feel certain there are some hidden gems in there. But in the mean time, perjury charges and bar disciplinary actions here we come!

* Yes, I know you are watching me. I saw you on my sitemeter. So let's just be clear about this, I am now watching you watching me.

** I still know you've been here. And the irony is still rich.

tags: Alberto Gonzales Department of Justice DOJ Monica Goodling Legion of Doom