Look, I don't know if what I had was swine flu. Or H1N1. Or whatever the cool kids are calling it these days. But it was the flu. And it was a motherfucker. I decided not to visit the doctor for a few reasons. For one thing, I was too sick to drive my sick ass there. I live alone and who wants to be trapped in the car with someone that clearly has cooties. Also? There are sick people at the doctor's office. I had enough on my plate without being exposed to strange germs just to have a nurse shove a q-tip up my nose to see if I have the flu. Dude. I had the flu. Luckily, I also had a prescription of Tamiflu in my medicine cabinet. I admit it, I hoard shit. Not like get your guns ready for the Armageddon kind of hoarding, but I like to keep a stocked pantry and medicine cabinet kind of hoarding.
But it wasn't until I started getting better that I realized how bad off I was. For one thing, I took some extra doses of Tamiflu along the way and finished early. Oops. I also made a double batch of jell-o that I don't remember making at all. I walked into the kitchen to get a ginger ale and there were two open jello boxes on the counter and a pan of jell-o in the fridge. Don't get me wrong, I was glad it was there. But really? Jell-o? There were some things that got moved around in my house. I guess I'm lucky I didn't rearrange the furniture in my fevered state.
I also got very bored. I cleared out my DVR. I didn't have any books I wanted to read. And how much time can you really stand to spend on Twitter haranguing people for their complete inability to fact-check a story before publishing it? Frankly, I found out more than the local newspaper or that hip wannabe website ever did in five minutes sitting on my couch with a raging fever. But that jell-o turned out to be one of the most interesting things going on at my house. It wiggles and jiggles, after all. But your standards for what constitutes entertainment hit a new low when you are holed up like a fugitive in your home for a week. Technically, I'm better now. I'm still worn out and all I want to do is stay home and sleep. Hopefully this will pass because I don't think I can handle another weekend of staring at my wall that really need to be painted.