The Pineapple Report: Jerry's Last Time

So Jerry Falwell died today at the age of 73. He was found unconscious in his office at Liberty University and rushed to the hospital. He probably died because he has "a history of heart challenges," but they aren't saying.

Jerry Falwell has brought us some good times. Like founding a college with an ironic name. I guess liberty is limited to what he thinks god wants you to do and think.

He also brought us fun phrases like when he told us that the bible talks about "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." Thanks, Jerry! That one never gets old.

He said other things like gays, lesbians and health workers who provide abortions were partly to blame for the September 11 attacks. I guess you got to blame someone, because god doesn't like us to explain things by saying "shit happens."

Then there's the "Moral Majority." Weeeee! Way to get a rabid minority of bible thumpers to highjack the Republican party. Barry Goldwater probably rolls over in his grave everytime someone mentions those two words together.

But the best is the case Hustler Magazine, Inc. v. Falwell. While a lot of people probably read Hustler (for the articles, of course!), I don't think it was enough to really Jerry's image. Just how much emotional distress could that cause a good christian that shouldn't be reading that trash anyway? And I've always wondered did he "read" the rest of the issue containing the Campari ad spoof? But in the end, the Supreme Court decided that the ad wasn't libel and that a public figure could not recover damages for intentional infliction of emotional distress based on a satire, because under the First Amendment, an obvious satire or parody of a public figure remains protected speech, even if it causes emotional distress to that person. This case proved only to give us a good laugh (because then everyone saw the ad) and inspired a movie about the king of smut, Larry Flynt.

So thanks for all the good times, Jerry!