Sunday, December 20, 2009

it is with a not so heavy heart and a jammed pinky finger,

I am saying goodbye to the styrofoam rock.  You may recall that in July a certain someone moved out without taking this gigantically stupid, phallic piece of shit.*  Well, bulk trash day has finally arrived.  Come Monday this albatross will be going to its next home: the landfill.

Just for the record, styrofoam rocks are a lot heavier than you think.  I had to turn it end over end because it was too heavy to pick up and carry to the curb.  Unfortunately, the sorry ass thing broke and I jammed my finger.  Please note the unfortunate thing is that I hurt my hand, not that the stupid thing broke.  I just want to be clear about that.  While I was cussing up a storm, Laverne came to check out the commotion and to pay her respects to the monstrosity.

While I feel bad that the dogs can't play "Queen of the Mountain" anymore, I'm glad that remnant of my past is leaving my now happy home.  Now it is sitting on my curb and the people prowling for curbside treasure keep slowing down to look.  I don't know why they don't want to take it with them (said with much sarcasm).

So long, stupid styrofoam rock.  Hope to never see you again.

*Ironically, last night I ran into my friend that a certain someone claimed asked him to bring home the monstrosity so he could pick it up later from our house.  I told him that Sunday was his last chance to claim this "prize".  However, his wife was in earshot and told him that he wasn't allowed to bring it home.  He tried to convince her why it would be a good thing to have, she did not change her mind.  I can't say that I blame her one bit.


mad said...

Sure that thing wasn't part of Stonehenge?

pineapple said...

sure felt like it when I moved it to the curb...

The fearless threader said...

It looks like it belongs in "This is Spinal Tap"