and let's face it, the pineapple world has been pure shit since the last time I blogged. frankly, I'm not sure if this is a one time deal or maybe there is still a flicker or glimmer of something like drive to start this again. I just don't know. I do feel a need to purge, or bitch, or complain, or rant, or SOMETHING. I wish I could point to the one thing that made me so completely unmotivated to do anything. But I just can't. I can point to a lot of somethings in almost every aspect of my life that are completely jacked up. And that is where my lack of motivation comes from -- the fact that everything is screwed up.
It really is sad when there hasn't been a single, stupid world event that inspired me to give my opinion to the lack of masses flocking to my blog. Not the ridiculousness of the Republicans, the absurdity of the swine flu panic, or Captain Sullenberger's ruined library books inspired me to turn on my computer. It wasn't even remotely motivating when Spain was talking about prosecuting Alberto for war crimes. You know a pineapple is in a bad way when that can't touch her inner blogger. Pity party, ya'll. Pity. Party.
Here I am. Another night of stressful thoughts and lack of sleep in pineapple land. Watch me as I am say absolutely nothing and get uncharacteristically personal in a vague way. I keep thinking that I'm getting closer to a good place and I make a move forward only to get bitch slapped about ten steps back. Almost everything I own is damaged, broken, missing, or deficient in some way and since I had the poor judgment to go and get myself a guv'mint job I have no money to take care of this shit. I mean really, should I get a new wireless router so I can not blog from any room in the house or pay the electric bill so I can complain that I have electricity, but not wireless internet.
Speaking of my guv'mint job, well, my work situation is unbearable. Everyone has gone insane and although I do my job well I am on some shit list for an unknown reason. If I weren't so damned broke from my lack of income I'd sing those bitches a certain Johnny Paycheck song. Oh, come on, you know the one (it rhymes with take this job and shove it...). And naturally since Gov. Goodhair is more interested in refusing stimulus money and talking about seceding while asking for drugs from the federal government in his unreasonable bacon flu panic, there will be no cost of living raise for state employees. There is no money for that. And he doesn't have time to worry about that anyway when he wants to make sure dead people get buried with their IDs. Or something like that. I am almost tempted to vote in the Republican primary just so I can vote against that dickwad. A shitty salary keeps an employee motivated to stick around -- don't pay me enough to live on and then refuse to give me a cost of living raise when my cost of living gets more and more expensive. Hell, If I cut much more out of my budget I will be sitting around in the dark listening to my stomach growl. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful to have a job but just watch me cross party lines to help Miss Breck kick your ass, buddy.
But the thing that prays on my mind the most is that I can't face going back to the gym. Let's just ignore the fact that after months of eating healthy and making three to four trips to the gym every week, there has been no progress. I should have kept my old job and completed the tour of every single Whataburger and Sonic in the State of Texas. At least I got some good pictures out of it. And it isn't even the fact that those fools screwed my account up so badly that they stop me to make sure I can come in every single time I go. I now just say," it's not me, it's you" when I hand them my card. Some of those dummies get the joke, but most of the time I get a blank stare. But that really isn't what puts me off of that place. It is the asswipe that likes to change the channel to the Food Network on half of the TVs in that place. I try to pick a place where I can watch the news and not see that shit at all. But without fail there are at least two TVs that have that food channel in my line of vision. I get tricked by the commercials, I guess. I just can't face another episode of Paula Deen (she always seems to be on no matter what time I'm at the gym). I do not need to watch her put five sticks of butter in everything. It doesn't matter what she is making (butter salad, anyone?). At some point she says,"Oh honey, I think that needs some butter! Don't you?" And then she puts 50 sticks in the pan. Frankly, there should be a law against showing food shows at a gym. Isn't food the main reason any of us exercise???
I guess the long and not so short of it is that my life is in shambles and the only thing that keeps me going is that I get two weeks off to go a trip with the pineapple family. And I am so grateful that they are taking me because I can't afford to run away on my own (thanks, Rick Perry). The big question is, "can I make it 9 more days?"