When you've hit your limit of bullshit, the best thing you can do is come up with a plan. As I was inundated with phone calls from the masses, I started to think about where I really wanted to be. I've had an idea about where I'd like to end up for a while. I never imagined that I'd be using my law degree to answer stupid questions (and, yes, there are stupid question and they are usually asked by stupid people). As I answered one stupid question after another, I realized that my current job isn't the way to fulfill any type of future career goals. My job really is a joke. But it was a moment in the hall when I greeted my supervisor and got no response (rude much?) that my decision had really been made. Today is the day that I committed to finding a new job. A job that will get me to my goal. Because at my age, it really is time I had some sort of career goals. I'm still miserable and desperately unhappy in my current situation, but I'm not feeling as overwhelmed by it now that I have a plan. And I didn't want to cry when I got home for the first time in weeks. I'm not usually a crier, but lately it has seemed like a good idea. Things have been that craptastic.
Admittedly, it isn't just my job that is getting me down. So, I've come up with a plan to get my non-work life back on track. One of my goals is to get back to something that makes me feel good -- writing down my bullshit thoughts. I haven't committed to getting back to my blog per se. Maybe I'll start working on the book I never finished, maybe I'll start a new blog. I don't know yet. But rambling on about my personal bullshit has helped me sort some shit out in my head.
All I have to do now is survive one more week of bullshit, then I have two weeks to clear my head before I tackle the my new goals.
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4 comments:
hang in there. I'm rooting for you. If you come up with any good career goals give a holler. My career is just about over and I don't think I can monetize this haiku shit.
mad: you should shop a book proposal of your haikus. I went to high school with two people that published not so great books (one of them was actually made into a movie starring an oscar winning actress). Your "shit" is way better than what they published. I would totally buy your book (I only checked their books out from the library)!
Keep digging, eventually you'll find that prize bull...
jill: there is a lot of bull shit to dig through first. :)
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