my life is hell...

...and I have a headache "this big". I was watching my new favorite show last night (Deadliest Catch -- thanks to the dvr) and I heard a quote from one of the crabbers that may be my new mantra: "Life sucks, but the alternative is unacceptable."

I think I like Chris Bell

As I was driving to one of my favorite places for work this morning, I heard Chris Bell on the radio. Honestly, my apathy towards the election this year has surprised me. I really haven't really been giving a shit about who might be our next governor. Or anything else for that matter. Texas has become all republic, all the time and there is not an end in sight. But, I digress. So, anyway, he was talking about school finance (a sexy topic) and he seemed like a reasonable, intelligent person that wants to solve the problem. He, unlike so many politicians, actually has kids that are in public school. He also recognized that whatever those idiots (my word NOT his) do this special session is just the beginning and there is a lot more to do. He already makes Rick Perry look like a world class fool on this point alone. Although Perry doesn't need anyone's help to look like a fool since that just comes naturally. Up until today, I was actually thinking about voting for Kinky just because he would at least have something funny to say even if it lacked substance. Now I think I might be able to cast a vote that I can feel good about. Of course, November is a ways away and I can always change my mind.

got alaskan king crab?

If you haven't seen the Deadliest Catch on the Discovery Channel, then you have really missed out.  Lucky for you, a new season starts tomorrow night.  Usually I like my reality shows with a side of fluff, but these danger rangers are intense.  They get thrown overboard into freezing water, they get pummeled by freezing storms, and sometimes they die.  

is technorati your friend?

Well, I can't answer that question for you and I'm not even going to try. While trying to claim my blog for the millionth time -- don't even get me started on that one! But please read on if you want to hear my rant-- I started looking at the trendy searches for the day. Today, the top search was for "unhinged". While that seems like a silly search term in itself, the results are even more so. The top hits are for blogs doing exactly what I am about to do. They are all commenting on how unhinged is the top Technorati search term. For real? Is this how people get others to read their blogs on a daily basis? Do people think to themselves,"I'm going to blog about the trendy Technorati search terms!" ??? And yet.

My interest in the trendy search terms is really just for occasional entertainment. What really keeps me going back to Technorati is my stubbornness. When I first started this blog, I tried to claim it on Technorati. It wouldn't let me. I followed their directions and contacted the "help" people. Or whatever. After a day or two I got a friendly canned email telling me that they would contact me soon about claiming my blog. They suggested I write back if I didn't hear from them again within a few days. Nothing. I wrote back. Nothing. Occasionally, I try to claim my blog. It never works. I write to them as per their suggestion. Nothing. So, I guess I can answer my question. technorati may be your friend, but right now Technorati and I are not playing well together.

all you gotta do is act naturally

goodbye, buck

Magnum P.I. got me thinking this week...

While I was at home this week, sick and in bed, I had a lot of time to watch TV. One morning I was watching Magnum, P.I. (it is the best thing on at 11 am if you don't like the Young and the Restless). So, Magnum was driving his car down the road and I saw an interstate sign. It got me thinking about something that I had wondered about before... why are they called interstate highways if Hawaii is an island? I mentioned this to my sweetheart, and all he said was, "well, what about Alaska?" And then I thought, what about Alaska AND Puerto Rico???

As per Merriam-Webster the word "interstate" is defined as follows:
"Pronunciation: "in-t&r-'stAt
Function: adjective
: of, connecting, or existing between two or more states especially of the U.S. "

So by the very definition of the word "interstate" you CANNOT have an interstate highway in Hawaii, Alaska or Puerto Rico. So what's the deal?

According to wikipedia "While the name implies that these highways cross state lines, many Interstates do not. Rather, it is the system of interstates that connects states. There are interstate highways in Hawaii, funded in the same way as in the other states, but entirely within the populous island of Oahu. They have the designation of H-X, and connect military bases. Similarly, both Alaska and Puerto Rico have public roads that receive funding from the Interstate program, though these routes are not signed as Interstate Highways."

I'm glad they figured out that Alaska and Puerto Rico can't have interstate highways, but this still doesn't give me a reasonable explanation about Hawaii. Are they trying to tell me by connecting military bases in Oahu, that it is part of the system that connects the states? Well, I don't buy it.

As for the list of interstates that don't cross state lines , I do know that the interstates in Texas will lead you to another interstate highway that will eventually take you out of Texas. So, I buy into them being "interstate" in the sense that they are part of the system that connects the states.

what the fuck is a bottle cap tripod?

and why does everyone want to look it up on the internet?

you are what you eat, Lindsay Lohan!

If you want to know about how your fruit was grown, read the label. Conventionally grown fruit has four digits; organically grown fruit has five and starts with a nine; genetically engineered has five numbers and starts with an eight. And that's your trivia for the day.

do as I say, not as I do

TSG has posted a humorous order by the court to refuse pleadings and motions with illegible signatures. So, shouldn't the clerk refuse the order because the judge's signature is illegible?

here's some toilet humor for you

this story is tragically funny. While it made a horrible mess (and smell!), exploding toilets are still funny.

gee, your blog smells terrific

so, my readership has been fluxuating a little but mostly holding low and steady.  every once in a while I get that crazy surge that makes me hopeful that I have gotten readers and not just passers by.  but overall, maybe a couple of people stop by everyday.  but if those two people liked my blog, and then told ten friends (or even one!) and they told ten friends (or whatever) then my readership would spread like wild fire and my readers would be living the gee your hair smells terrific commercial!

r.i.p. jesse "guitar" taylor

you will be missed by many

i'm moving to vermont

those crazy yankees have the  right idea .

phones

Thanks Alexander Graham Bell.  You patented the phone on this day in 1876.  My life would be so much easier without a phone, so I'm not really sure if that thanks is sarcastic or not...

Remember the Alamo!

On this day in 1836, Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna captured the Alamo.  It took 1500 soldiers from the Mexican army thirteen days to defeat 189 men.  Go Texas!

you should read this

abortion manual (especially if you live in a state that is dead to me or that is on notice).

gobble gobble

more lies from bush

my journal entry...

Today was really great.
I got out of bed really late because my alarm clock has broken and I cannot afford a new one at the moment.
I feel unusual because my antidepressants are making me hairy.
I'm so stoned.
Last night I had to masturbate twenty times. I'm so horny. Click here to see my website.
I want to tell the world that I'm gay.
I am sharpening my knives before I go to work today, because I'm going to cut out Robert's heart and feed it to him for losing my mail.
Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's ten thousand photographs of my cat.
I want to say thanks to the world for absolutely fucking nothing! You all suck. I feel so alone, no one ever reads this journal, or even comments to let me know that I'm not suffering alone. It's cold here, and I want to die, but I cannot figure out how many of you to take with me when I go.
I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have a terrible skin disease which prevents me from coming into contact with other human beings. And bipolar disorder.
You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you what your favourite sexual position is.
That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this poem I wrote. It's about my friend Robert, who has bipolar disorder. Just like me. And Heidi.

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happy texas independence day!

On this day in 1836, Texas told Mexico to take a flying leap.  After some fierce battles, Texas finally became a Republic.  Too bad we didn't stay that way...

Also on this day in 1793, Sam Houston was born.  After retreating from several battles (which led to accusations that he was a sissy coward), he kicked ass at the Battle of San Jacinto on April 12, 1836 in just 18 minutes.  The next day he captured Santa Anna who recognized Texas' independence.

my blogger widget rocks

now I can post my random thoughts with ease.

what is the president up to now?

Baby Boy Bush (BBB) has made quite the prediction about capturing Osama bin Laden. With his surprise trip to Afghanistan and his huge secret service detail, we'd have to guess something is going on. Does this mean that bin Laden has already been captured and they are waiting for the right time to stage his capture (as in when BBB is in the same country)? Or as it was suggested by an acquaintance of mine, that there will be an assassination attempt on BBB while the world has its eyes and television cameras on him. Whatever is going on, my prediction is that it is designed to boost his approval rating and help re-elect republicans in the midterm elections.