I'm stealing a page from colbert's book...

South Dakota , you are dead to me. Ohio, Indiana, Georgia, Tennessee and Kentucky you are on notice.

so who is running this country?

Congress finds out that we are about to turn over our ports to to a firm owned by the U.A.E. and vows to stop it and then we find out that Bush found out about it from the news (straight from the mouth of Scott McClellan). So who is in charge? Anyone?

don't just drop in

I'm tired of my house being a circus. I am buying a chain and making a "closed" sign to block the steps to my porch to stop people from coming over when I want to be left alone (or left alone with my sweetheart). from now on, call before you come over...

bush and blair at the gay bar, gay bar

i'm having a baby!

or at least that's what my boyfriend found out this morning from his ex-wife. Its good to know that she and the mysterious "grapevine" that she got the information from know my cycle better than I do.

is legal prostitution a good idea?

Ultimately, I'd say yes. For one thing, it is never going to go away no matter how much the "family values" people would like for it to. Its not called the "oldest profession" for nothing. Isn't it better to have standards that include requiring safe sex, health check ups for sex workers, and a safer work environment?

just remind me next quail season...

... that I do not want to go hunting with Dick Cheney. Apparently he got a little confused. The birds are up in the air, Dick, not on your friend's face. Or were you sending him a message?

for your viewing pleasure -- Japanese Spiderman

coconuts

if you have one million dollars, you can be the proud owner of a coconut tree. This story raised a few questions in my mind. While its always fun to have something rare, wouldn't it be more cost effective to buy three coconut trees instead of one three-pronged tree? Also, how does one become a coconut expert? And why would you want to? Oh, and isn't ironic that this question is coming from a pineapple princess? The questions never stop!

the year of the dog

This year is the year of the dog. The folks over at retrocrush have compiled a list of the top 100 dogs in pop culture. While I don't agree with the order of the "coolness" there are some cool dogs (i.e. #91 Junk Yard Dog).

the dumbest criminal ever

This made me laugh so hard I almost wet my pants. Go to The Smoking Gun to read about the worst criminal ever.

My Gay Boyfriend!

go here to see my gay boyfriend!

I know I'm a little behind the times

I've been meaning to write about the state of the disunion for a week now. Its been so long that the window has really passed, but I'm going to say one thing (or maybe a few). Human animal hyrids? Really??? I mean, does W watch Surface or something? I know that talking, large, little girl, gorilla thing that they made at the pharmaceuticals labs was a little creepy, but it was fiction. I guess the government conspiracy aspect of the show seemed so realistic to him that he thought that creature was real too. And who knows, maybe big mammals that shock you are eating all the whales and causing tsumanis. If he watched Invasion then he would know what really causes hurricanes... Ooooooh! Spooky! Then he should watch 24, to see how the war on terror is going. And if he wants to check in on an epidemic, he can take a break from his busy schedule to watch General Hospital. However, until they reveal the secret of the island, he should just skip Lost. Maybe it will provide fodder for next year's speech. Of course, those Dharma Corp. people may be a threat to our national security and we should start wiretapping immediately...

Put a clipping in the baby book, Alito made his first ruling

So , Alito has made his first ruling and he voted against the grain of conservatitivism. While Roberts, Scalia, Scalia 2.0 --I mean Thomas all voted to go ahead with an execution in Missouri. Alito joined the rest of the Court to stay the execution while Missouri figures out if the three drug cocktal they use for executuion is cruel and unusal. I still believe that man will be able to do serious harm to my civil liberties and my right to choose, but maybe he isn't everthing the conservatives bargained for. Its really too soon to tell, but we can only hope. You know things change when you get a job for life. Reagan didn't get what he barained for with Sandra Day O'Connor.

multi-tasking

is a bullshit 90s term that means never finishing anything you start.