Monday, August 03, 2009

The Glamour of Being a Single Pineapple

Friday night was a single girl's dream night. Instead of going to a party, I stayed in with my dogs. First the dogs had anxiety attacks about all the lightening and thunder (no rain -- it was all for show). My plan was to go party after then danger had passed. Once "the storm that never was" did finally blow over, it was party time. Just not in the way I was planning. Shirley got a nice case of explosive diarrhea. Lovely, huh?

Instead of getting ready to go hang out with some interesting new people, I had to make a run to the Walgreen's for Kaopectate for the dog. The upside of this is that the trip to the Walgreen's was interesting. Of course going to a drugstore in the 'hood at ten at night always is interesting. First I saw a very large tranny in line wearing a microscopic halter top and mini skirt. She was twice my size, yet wearing clothes smaller than mine. She was dressed like Lula from the Stephanie Plum books -- except the tranny was born a Hispanic man instead of being a vary large black woman. I wanted to ask if she was called Lula, but that would have been rude and she could have totally snapped me like a twig. And then when I was leaving the parking lot some dummy pulled out right in front of me. I had to slam on the brakes. This is when I noticed all of the bullet holes in the car. But after seeing the way they drive, I understand why someone would want to shoot them.

By the time I got Shirley all squared away and diarrhea free, it was 4 am and I was not in the mood to party. And this is why being a single pineapple is so glamorous.


mad said...

Your hood is way more interesting than I thought!

Jill said...

Actually, you have are having much more fun than I am. Even in the "hood". Makes me wish I could go "party"...