trash talk

So last weekend we put out a variety of three-legged chairs and other large items that should have never come to my house. The pick up in our area started on Monday, but could come as late as Friday. Naturally, day after day the junk stayed in my yard (it really dressed up the joint!). Then on Thursday I get a call at work from MOTL...

MOTL: The guys working across the street parked in front of our trash. Its still there. They took everyone else's trash.
Me: Fuck. Go over there and tell them they better take that shit with them when they leave work today.
MOTL: I guess I can get my dad to bring his truck and we can take it out to the property*.
Me: No. Go over there and tell them they better figure out how to haul that shit away. And call the city and tell them they missed our stuff. One way or another someone else it taking that shit away.

Call Two--
MOTL: Those guys don't speak English.
Me: Bullshit. They just don't like what you are telling them.
MOTL: I did find out who they work for. Do you want to call?
Me: No. I'm at work. You call. And then call the city and tell them they forgot to pick up our shit.
MOTL: OK.

Call Three--
MOTL: I talked to their boss. And he said they would take our trash when they left the site today.
Me: Did you call the city, too?
MOTL: They said they would circle back around on Friday.
Me: Um, OK (I have my doubts about that part of the story). Well, we'll see what happens. Someone is taking that crap one way or another. But I need to get back to work because I am working.

When I got home the workers and their trailer were still there and that trash was still in my yard. As I sat down on the couch, we heard the truck pull away. Without our garbage. I looked at MOTL and told him to call that dude now.

MOTL: Why don't you call? You're the lawyer.
Me: Yes, but when I call him it is going to be to tell him how much he owes me for having that shit hauled away or else I'm filing a lawsuit and serving him with a shit ton of discovery. Finish what you started.
MOTL: (dials the number, no answer, so he leaves a message)Your guys didn't take the garbage from our house. You better do it tomorrow or my girlfriend, the lawyer, is going to have to have it hauled away and will sue you.
Me: rolled my eyes to the back of my head.

When I got home from work the next day, not only were all of those junky chairs gone but so was the brush that the city wasn't going to take any way. Guess we got a sweet deal after all...


*their property is like the land of misfit toys, except they take everything that they've ever had taht is now broken out their. I think of their property as their own personal landfill.

tags: garbage in my front yard

Pineapple + Feng Shui (insert water feature here)*

So, I may have mentioned in an earlier post that I had a "plan". Well, it turns out setting your future career goals and thinking of a couple of things you need to do to soothe your current frustration doesn't really qualify as a plan. Also, going on a kick ass vacation really does bring your stress levels down a lot. So much so, that things didn't seem quite so bad (and were frankly humorous) when I returned to work. Mostly that holds true a month later. At least now I'm not desperate to escape so I can wait until the right thing comes along (because I am still looking).

But the thing that has held my attention the most since my return is getting my shit together in my home space.** I was quite thrilled when I got the notice about the bulk trash pick up. All I can say is, "bye bye three legged chair. I never wanted you so you are going back to the curb you came from."*** As did the other shitty chairs that MOTL has collected from the side of the road over the last year. I'm not against roadside furniture, I'm just against broken, mangled and filthy roadside furniture.

I have thorn things out, cleaned shit up, built a pair of nightstands****, rearranged furniture, and planted the beginnings of a garden. I've even started organizing my "home office" so I can get back to writing. Over the past month I have busted my ass and made some real progress. I still have a long way to go, but things are moving forward for the first time in a long time. I don't know if feng shui really works, but I can attest to the fact that getting your shit in order does make you feel better. And that is a start.

*I don't really know if feng shui extends to blogs, but with this heat I am certain I need more water features in my life. Or maybe just a glass of water because I am thirsty.

**Obviously it hasn't been uploading those photos from the kick as vacation...

***The highlight was watching the guy load up our janky bbq pit in the back of his trailer last weekend. MOTL had not cleaned it out and the poor guy got covered in ashes.

****a la target.com

dirty business

As we are now on day 5468 of over 100 degree weather, it seemed like a fine time to do some gardening. My gardening odyssey started yesterday when the Pineapple Dad started talking about going to buy some plants. So, we all went -- it was a family trip to the hottest place on Earth. Also known as Lowes. By the time I got back to my car and we loaded it up with plants and mulch, I really thought I was going to die. Even the tops of my feet felt like they were on fire from the heat. If a native Texan is whining about the heat, its hot ya'll. MOTL and I came home to unloaded our goods and sleep it off. I drank about a million glasses of water and tried to nap. But I kept thinking about how I really wanted some mint (apparently Lowes is a mint free zone).

Next thing you know, I've talked MOTL into going to our neighborhood Home Depot where we struck out once again (and batting like the Astros). And although he really wanted to go back home, I had a hostage and a mission. We went to a local hardware/garden shop and there we found it. Mint! I now have a 30 foot bed with peppermint, spearmint, lemon mint, orange mint and apple mint. They did not have any chocolate mint and they only had one half dead pineapple mint. Maybe next time.

Now I am dehydrated (I couldn't see through my glasses because the sweat was dripping off me by the gallon -- eeew!) and sore (from digging up the rest of the wandering jew and then planting the mint and mulching). Of course it was just about dark when I finished watering it. And it was still in the upper 90s.

And tomorrow night, I plant the flowers. I rule.

you say you want a revolution

Frankly, I find the story about the election in Iran fascinating and compelling. And I am totally rooting for the underdog (even though Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Mir-Hossein Mousavi aren't all that different from one another). But Ahmadinejad is kinda scary and I am really against stealing elections. We all know how that turns out.

But what really pisses me off? Statements made by people like Insane McCain. Where does he get off insisting we take a hard line and support the opposition party. Does that include bombing them (and should we sing a song while we do it?)? Do people still take him seriously? And my question is: should they have taken a hard line with us in 2000? God knows it would have saved us some trouble (you know, like two wars and a financial crisis). But what is more appalling are the tweets from jackasses like John Culberson (comparing himself to the Iranians because the republicans are "repressed"). Whatever. You sad republican that benefited from the illegal gerrymandering in Texas, you are so repressed.

the party's over...

...and all I have to show for it is a wicked case of jet lag. My body thinks it is bedtime and I know I still have to leave the comfort of my air conditioned bedroom to get dog food and groceries. In that order because the dogs rule in this house (that, and I ate enough on that cruise ship that maybe I don't really need to eat all that much anyway). I actually filled up a travel journal* and took hundreds of pictures (many of them are "Traveling Pineapple" worthy). I had 18 much needed work-free days. But tomorrow I go back to what ever fresh hell that has erupted in my absence and long for the gentle rocking of the boat (not to mention the 15 days that I did not have to cook, clean, do the dishes, do the laundry, or any of those other shitty things).

*all handwritten, too. it was nice to spend some quality time writing, even if it wasn't quality writing.