too much

I worked for over 15 hours today. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow is going to be another marathon day.

From one end of Texas to another...

I'm back in Austin. Whew! It has been a long day and I just found out that my summer is pretty much shot. Seven day work weeks until August 31st. No summer vacation this year. No fun birthday. Not much fun anything. Guess I'm going to have to pony up the $50 to save my free ticket on Southwest for the fall.

This time I am going to be in various small towns in North Texas. I guess it is a change in scenery. But not really because a courthouse is a courthouse is a courthouse. They all have big dusty books. Depending on internet availability, I may not be blogging much until September. But I've found that more and more motels in "small town" Texas do offer internet access. I'll just have to take it as it comes.

One strange thing I saw on the way home as I was between Beeville and Kenedy, there was a small sign that said simply, "GO WITH US." Go where? And who is "us"? My first thought was that, no I don't want to go. Next I started thinking that what I really need is a good digital camera so that I can write a coffee table book about weird shit in Texas. I know that I've seen a lot of Texas and that I've seen a lot of weird shit. That sounds like more fun than living in dusty courthouses...

tags: Texas South Texas North Texas Beeville Kenedy Travel

Stupid Republicans!

And obviously some Democrats too. Let's get real about the whole idea of a constitutional ban on flag burning. The word is that the Senate is one vote shy of the required 2/3 vote. Just in time for the 4th of July. How patriotic of them! I bet the so-called Founding Fathers are rolling in their collective graves. This amendment goes against everything that this country was based on and it degrades the Bill of Rights. They may as well delete the whole First Amendment since it is basically ignored by the government anyway. If you don't like flag burning, then don't do it. If you don't like abortion, then don't have one. If you don't like gay marriage, then don't marry someone of the same gender. What I do with my life is my business, not the government's.

Bush once again showed us how speaking before thinking is a bad idea. Way to make fun a blind person today.

And thanks for appointing John Roberts and Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. After yesterday's ruling that police don't have to knock if they have a warrant, pretty soon they won't need a warrant if they suspect there might be a criminal in a five mile radius. Maybe that's what the Senate will take up after they are done with this flag burning amendment. They can have a no warrant amendment and just delete the Fourth Amendment. The government just ignores it anyway. The new head of the CIA doesn't seem to think that there is such a thing as probable cause or warrants. They must be a figment of my imagination.

I can't take much more...

tags: Politics Republicans Democrats Senate Flag Burning Abortion Gay Marriage Bush Roberts Alito Supreme Court Constitution

Enough already with the trips to South Texas!

Here is my stupid day:

1. I had to drive through San Antonio. If you have ever driven there, then you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, don't start now.

2. It has been another fun day in Alice. It is always fun to be sent on a wild goose chase. I won't bore you with the details (unless you ask for them). Basically they sent me back to do something that they thought was wrong, but I was right to begin with. It could have been cleared up with one phone call instead of a trip to Alice. Time wasted that I will never get back. I wish I could bill them double for my time as a penalty for stupidity.

3. On my way to George West, I heard the word of the day on some Corpus Christi radio station. It was the word "garbage." The radio announcer even spelled it out "g-a-b-a-g-e." If you don't see the problem, you must have had the same spelling teacher.

4. I go to Beeville tomorrow. An exercise in futility since they have a really horrible index. Another stupid day, but at least I don't have to drive through San Antonio again.

Don't you wish you could be more like me?

tags: South Texas Texas San Antonio Alice George West Beeville

It is so cool to come out of the closet

One of my favorite shows as a child was The Electric Company. I really loved the episodes of Spiderman. It had the best theme song that ended with "nobody know who you are!" I guess they are going to have to change that to "everybody knows who you are." What the hell were they thinking? I just don't know how you can be a superhero without a hidden identity. I hope they don't jump the shark like Dallas did when they killed off Bobby for one season. Then the next year he was alive and the previous season had all been Pam's very vivid dream. It would really suck if it were all Mary Jane's dream.

tags: Spiderman Marvel Civil War Comics The Electric Company

Can you hear it?

I've been hearing about this new ringtone that adults can't hear. The story is that people over 30 have a hard time hearing this frequency. Well, I can hear it and it is absolutley annoying. Click here to see if you can too.

tags: ringtone mosquito ringtone ringtone adults can't hear teenagers

I don't care what they say

Karl Rove is a criminal. And he is one lucky asshole because they are not going to indict him for the CIA leak case. I remember some of the shady things he did when he still did "direct mail" at Rove and Company in Austin, Texas. I was doing campaign work and direct mail on the opposite side of the political spectrum. He has a bad habit of leaking information to the press and an amazing ability to make things up. Enough said.

tags: Austin Texas Politics Karl Rove Rove CIA

J.R. has already been shot, don't do it again

At first, the talk was that they were not going to film the movie version of "Dallas" in Dallas at all. Now they have decided it might be a good idea to film part of the movie there. After reading the article, I think they should just scrap the whole idea. They have cast John Travolta as J.R. and Jennifer Lopez as Sue Ellen. Way to destroy a good TV show with what will certainly be a shitty movie. Hopefully, they can cast the rest of the parts with Canadians and Yankees so they can all have really bad accents. Actors seem to think that all Southern accents sound the same. They don't. In fact, you can tell what part of Texas someone is from just by their accent alone. My advice, if you have a hankering to watch J.R. and the rest of the Ewing clan just rent the DVD of the real deal.

tags: Dallas Texas John Travolta Jennifer Lopez Movies TV

I was going to blog tonight

but I've decided against it.

Blog reposting can really suck

Over the past few days, two of my blog entries have been reposted. The blog I wrote about the fatal combination of your cell phone and lead paint was reposted to some strange site about cell phones. I wasn't exactly thrilled, but I didn't give it too much thought. However, a small part of my blog about Carole "Four/Five Names" was reposted to some strange blog about Texas divorce. It had the same template as the cell phone blog, so I'm guessing its run by the same people. That re-post really pissed me off. In my mind, my blog about the name changes was about the insanity of Texas politics, not about divorce. They cut out a small part of that post and then followed it with links about getting good legal advice if you are getting divorced.

I just wonder how this blog will be taken out of context...

tags: blogs reposting blogs

Calling all Texas Libertarians

Here is the list of the Libertarian candidate nominations:

U.S. senator: Scott Lanier Jameson of Plano
Governor: James Werner of Austin
Lieutenant governor: Judy Baker of Houston
Attorney general: Jon Roland of Austin
Comptroller of public accounts: Mike Burris of Austin
Land commissioner: Michael A. French of Wills Point
Agriculture commissioner: Clay Woolam of Richardson
Railroad commissioner: Tabitha Serrano of Houston
Chief justice, Supreme Court: Tom Oxford of Beaumont
Justice, Supreme Court, Place 2: Wade Wilson of Austin
Justice, Supreme Court, Place 4; Jerry Adkins of Dallas
Justice, Supreme Court, Place 6: Todd Phillipp of Midlothian
Justice, Supreme Court, Place 8: Jay H. Cookingham of Spring
Judge, Court of Criminal Appeals, Place 7: Quanah Parker of Abilene
Judge, Court of Criminal Appeals, Place 8: Dave Howard of Round Rock

I don't recall there ever being that many Libertarians on the ballot. And this is the first time that I know one of them personally. So, if you live and vote in Texas, why not take a walk on the wild side and vote for Wade Wilson. He is a kick ass attorney and would be a great judge. He is not taking campaign contributions. It seems down right impossible to buy someone that wont take your money. Just a thought. Besides, I'm tired of the "Legion of Doom" that makes up the current Texas Supreme Court. It is really, really time for a change.

tags: Texas Politics Wade Wilson Libertarian Texas Supreme Court

Hello, Alberto!

Tropical Storm Alberto is the first named storm of the 2006 hurricane season. Alberto plans on visiting Cuba and Florida. What fun for them! We are only 11 days into the season and we already have a named storm. I just hope the so-called evacuation plans that Texas and the other Gulf Coast states have will really work this time around. For as long as there have been hurricanes, it just seems that they would have figured this all out a little sooner. But its not just the government that needs to get it's collective head out of the sand. According to the American Red Cross, most Americans aren't prepared for emergencies. I'm not talking about duct for your windows in case of a terrorist attack. I'm talking food, water, batteries, flashlights and the like in case of blackouts and whatever type of natural disaster is likely to occur where you live. Just something to think about...

tags: tropical storm Alberto Cuba Florida Texas

Can you fry an egg on the sidewalk?

In today's Austin American Statesman, Jane Greig wrote an article about summer myths. One of them being about whether you can fry an egg on the sidewalk.

This is what her expert had to say:

"The American Egg Board has not heard of anyone who has had success doing this, says Elisa Maloberti, consumer information coordinator. The white of the egg coagulates (cooks) between 144 degrees and 149 degrees, and the yolk cooks at higher temperatures: 149 degrees to 158 degrees. The heat of summer might make you feel as if an egg could fry on the sidewalk, but the temperature would have to be concentrated to make that happen, Maloberti adds."

Here I am, American Egg Board. I have successfully fried an egg on the sidewalk. One summer I was visiting my grandfather and the witch he married (not my grandmother) in Andrews, Texas. My cousins and I decided it was so hot that we could fry an egg on the sidewalk. The witch gave us the egg and we went out front to fry it. Boy, did that egg fry. And even worse it made a HUGE mess. We also learned that fried eggs really stick to the sidewalk, too. That witch was so mad that she stood over us until we cleaned up every bit of that egg. So, my advice is that if you try to fry an egg on the sidewalk spray some Pam on it first.

tags: fry egg sidewalk Texas

More news on "One Goofy Grandma"

So, the opponents of Carole Four Names (or is it five?) have had some choice words to say about her ballot request. Basically, everyone running for governor thinks she has lots her marbles. Although no one has said that outright. But if she gets her way, we can change the other candidate's names too: Kinky "Jewish Cowboy" Friedman; Rick "My Hair is Better than Yours" Perry; and Chris "No One Knows Who I Am" Bell.

In Texas, you may use your nickname on the ballot if you have been known by that name for more than three years and it is not a political slogan. Out of all of the nicknames that I've heard about ole what's her name, not one of them has been "Grandma." It is simply a play on her slogan that she is "One Tough Grandma."

If she is so worried about name recognition, maybe she should just stop changing her name. She always keeps the "Keeton" part of her name because everybody liked her daddy (Page Keeton, a former Dean of the University of Texas Law School). Maybe next time she has an inkling to change her name (or a divorce, or remarries) she should just become Carole Keeton. Or better yet, retire from politics so we don't have to figure out what name she has this election.

tags: Texas Governor's Race Strayhorn Perry Kinky Friedman Chris Bell ballot Politics

Get paid to use MySpace

Is it really so shocking that the next step in the government's plan to watch us is to check out our profiles on MySpace and Friendster? Just think about all of the personal information people post about themselves on networking sites. It is just out there and anyone can access it. They know your name, your favorite color, and what you post on bulletins and blog about. But what this really means is that the government is paying people to fuck around on MySpace all day. That's our tax dollars at work. Gives me a warm and fuzzy kind of feeling.

tags: NSA government spying MySpace

Grandma? Really?

I was in the car this morning and heard on the radio that Carole Four Names wants to be listed on the ballot as: "Carole Keeton Grandma Strayhorn" on this November's ballot. No kidding. She says it is because that's how Texans know her. Seems like she's gone from "One Tough Grandma" to "One Delusional Grandma." So, with the addition to Grandma, do I have to call her Carole Five Names now? Its just too confusing. Until this morning I thought anyone would be better than Pretty Boy Perry. Now that she has taken her craziness public, I wouldn't trust her to hold my gum wrapper let alone run my state. I'm so glad she's the Comptroller -- its always good to have a lunatic in charge of the money.

tags: Texas Politics Carole Keeton Strayhorn Rick Perry One Tough Grandma

One less Republican in Travis County

I wish I had picked this up sooner, but we have a new Democrat Judge in Travis County. The Honorable Julie Kocurek, appointed by then Governor George W. Bush, has switched parties. The story came out on Wednesday and she made a formal announcement on Thursday.

Judge Kocurek was appointed to a newly created criminal district court in 1999 and even managed to beat a Democrat in the 2000 election. She ran unopposed in 2004. I never could figure out why the Democrats didn't find someone to run against her. W appointed one other Republican judge to a Travis County court while he was governor and that judge was handily defeated when his term expired.

But this switch in parties, as does any switch, makes you wonder why the change. I know that it is hard business to be a Republican in Travis County. But Judge Kocurek has done a good job as a judge. I think she could win re-election in 2008. It wouldn't be easy, but could be done. It made me wonder if she comes from a long line of Republicans and always though she should be one too and now she is coming out of the closet. Or maybe she just likes her job and this is the best way to keep it.

But whatever the reason for the change, Judge Kocurek is no longer the only Republican judge in Travis County. And that is cause for celebration!

tags: Julie Kocurek Austin Travis County Texas Republican Democrat Judges Bush

Take this toll road and shove it, I ain't driving here no more

So "they" are saying we are getting our new toll roads early. That's just dandy. Most of these roads were built with our tax dollars and then they later decided to make them toll roads. Thanks for the double tax, jerks. If I wanted to use toll roads I would move to Dallas or Houston. And now that the price of gasoline continues to skyrocket, paying $1.50 to drive on State Highway 45 or 75 cents on the MoPac extension everyday is just down right affordable. Don't you think? Austinites, get out the Google Map and find a free route to work.

tags: Toll Roads Austin Texas Politics

If your cell phone doesn't work, don't lick the walls

Today I went to Hallettsville to work. Lovely, lovely Hallettsville. If you've been reading my blog you'll know that they seem to have a problem with that whole separation of church and state (and telling the difference between fact and urban legend). No such luck finding constitutional infractions today... But really, my point is that I had some time in the car to ponder a few things.

1. Like why my cell phone doesn't work in the house and my wireless signal is for crap. Turns out what my friend said is true. Lead paint blocks reception of cell phones and wifi. So, if you want to stop people from stealing your bandwidth, get some lead paint. Of course, you wont be able to use your cell phone unless you hang out the window...

2. Like why the president thinks its any of his business who gets married. At least the Senate didn't have enough assholes for the required 2/3 vote.

3. And why did Robert Dinero donate all of his movie crap to the Ransom Center at The University of Texas? Does he have some secret ties to Austin that we don't know about? I know that they have other famous people's movie crap, but it doesn't seem like UT has a premiere collection or anything. Who knows?

Of course I had time to think about a lot of other things, but they are too personal or just too boring to share.

tags: Hallettsville Texas First Amendment Church and State Cell Phones Wifi Lead Paint Gay Marriage Robert Dinero

In case you missed it...

At 1:23 and 45 seconds today, the date was 1-2-3-4-5-6-7. Of course, if you add in the year to the end of that, it screws the whole thing up...

Is Kinky getting serious on us?

I know that I will not be voting for "Pretty Boy" Perry or Carole "Four Names" in the upcoming November election. As far as I'm concerned they, along with their political agendas, can go jump in a lake. I'm neutral about Chris Bell. Besides, it seems like he's dropped off the face of Texas. Haven't heard much from him lately. And then there is Kinky Friedman.

It looks like the Kinkster might be getting a touch of seriousness. It seems that Kinky may have come up with a platform of sorts. He lists fair ballot access to make it easier for independent candidates, fair debates, voter initiative and referendum process, same-day voter registration, redistricting and lobbying reforms and publicly funded campaigns as his priorities. Sounds good to me (although I'm still curious how he can get all that done in four years). Well, as they say, the devil is in the details.

I'm hoping that once people start to realize what this "fabulous" new tax plan really does, that Texans will started to get pissed off. "Pretty Boy" Perry talks about all this money to be saved. First, his numbers are flawed. Second, they are sticking small businesses with the bill. Way to make the little guy pay (and pay and pay). Carole "Four Names" has already started counting the problems (and monetary shortcomings). Let's hope they can shoot one another in the foot (politically speaking, of course).

This leaves us with "No Press" Bell and the "Newly Serious" Kinkster. All I can say is it takes a plurality to win...

tags: Kinky Friedman Rick Perry Carole Strayhorn Chris Bell Texas Politics

Today is 6/6/6

As we all know 666 is the number of the beast. So does that mean that today is a Satanic kind of day? Make of it what you will, but as far as I'm concerned it is just another Tuesday. Of course, lots of people doing things in "honor" of today: the movie The Omen comes out today, Ann Coulter is releasing a new book (maybe I should rethink that satanic thing...) and today is The National Day of Slayer. But one my favorite things (even though you can never have too much Slayer) is that people are actually betting on whether or not the world is going to end today. So if you win your bet that the world is going to end today, how exactly do you collect your winnings? Just a thought...

tags: 666 Slayer Ann Coulter Betus

Tom DeLay is back on top again!

Over the past five years, lawmakers have accepted over $50 million in trips. According to the Center for Public Integrity, American Public Media and Northwestern University's Medill News Service, these were some pretty swanky trips. And often times, theses lawmakers took their families with them. How often do you get to take your family with you on a business trip? Then again, how often do you fly on a private jet and stay in a room that costs $500 (or more) a night to go to places like Paris, Hawaii or Colorado ski resorts? So, why is Tom DeLay back on top, you ask? Because the former House Majority Leader and his staffers accepted about a half million dollars in trips during the period under review -- more than any other congressional office.

tags: Tom DeLay Texas Politics Center for Public Integrity Congress Corruption

a shout out to Henry!

Because he came up with the punniest plug ever for the Kinkster!

tags: O'Henry Pun Off Kinky Friedman

Ghoti still isn't fish

Did you know that people protest spelling bees? There are a lot of things in this world that people should protest, but I'm not sure that spelling is one of them. Apparently, The Simplified Spelling Society believes that the English language should be reformed so that it is easier to spell. I've been misspelling the English language just fine and I have no interest in learning how to misspell it in a new and "reformed" kind of way. If I wanted to learn a new language, I would pick a so called foreign language not a new version of my native tongue. Besides, I really have a hard time taking people seriously when they protest spelling bees (especially when they carry signs that say things like "I'm thru with through," "Spelling shuud be lojical," and "Spell different difrent").

tags: Spelling Bee Simplified Spelling Society

Get to know your Constitution

Today's lesson is the 4th Amendment:

"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the palace to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized."

According to this idiot, there is no requirement of probable cause. I'm so pleased that once again the Bush administration has rewritten the laws of our land and no one really gives a shit. I guess the three years I spent in law school and the astronomical debt I incurred were a total waste. Do you think I can get a refund?

tags: Constitution 4th Amendment Bush Hayden

Happy Hurricane Season

Does Hallmark make a card for that? June 1 marks the beginning of hurricane season. Texas says its ready. They claim that the levees are fixed. Only time will tell. Good luck to you all. And to all my friends in New Orleans, I hope you don't have to test the levee theory.

tags: Hurricaine Season Hurricanes Texas New Orleans

Pineapples can bring out the migraine in you...

Or so I gather. Apparently, pineapples cause migraines and when you google "pineapple migraines", my blog comes up first... I've suffered from migraines for years and had no idea that pineapples could trigger them until people started visiting my blog after I mentioned that migraines suck. It just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside (and of course prickly on the outside).

tags: Pineapples Migraines

vroooom, vroooooooooom!

Its that time again! Its the Republic of Texas Bike Rally. For the next four days, you can expect about 40,000 bikers to roll into town.

tags: Austin Republic of Texas Bike Rally

Whistleblowers beware!

because the Supreme Court says blowing the whistle is NOT protected by freedom of speech. So basically, the government can fire your ass when you tell the world about their wrongdoing. Go Bush!

For the Majority:
Justice Anthony Kennedy (the evil swing vote writing for the court majority)
Chief Justice John Roberts
Justices Antonin Scalia
Clarence Thomas
Samuel Alito

For the dissent:
John Paul Stevens (wrote the dissent)
David Souter (so pissed, he wrote a separate dissent)
Ruth Bader Ginsburg and
Stephen Breyer

tags: whistleblowers Supreme Court Bush Kennedy Roberts Scalia Thomas Alito Stevens Souter Ginsburg Breyer Freedom of Speech First Amendment Constitution

Is carbon dioxide your friend?

The fine folks at the Competitive Enterprise Institute seem to think so. They've even made a movie to show you how good it is for you. And if you agree with CEI (an organization funded by major oil and car companies) you can give them a donation. I'm sure they need all the help that they can get.

If you think that there is no such thing as too much of good thing, then you won't mind that with more carbon dioxide that there will also be more prevalent and itchier poison ivy. Not to mention more severe storms (like floods, bigger hurricanes, and the like), extinction of species, fewer glaciers, and all that other fun stuff.

tags: Global Warming Carbon Dioxide Competitive Enterprise Institute

Goodbye Principal Richard Vernon

RIP Paul Gleason

tags: Paul Gleason Breakfast Club Principal Vernon

Quack Quack!

There is a duck with an alien inside its stomach. Soon you will be able to buy the xray on eBay. How special.

tags: duck alien xray eBay

Thanks for blowing my mind

Last night I finally watched the season finale of "Lost". I just have one thing to say: What the fuck?

tags: Lost season finale

To the powers that be at the Big 12: You suck!

So those jackasses at the Big 12 are at it again. While they did decide to keep the football season at 8 conference games and the conference championship games the same, they are thinking about messing with Texas tradition AGAIN. When Texas was a part of the Southwest Conference, we played the aggies on Thanksgiving Day. It usually led to even more interesting holiday experiences than normal. There's really nothing like a side of rivalry with that turkey dinner. Inevitably, some kid from a Longhorn family would go to a&m against the whole family's wishes (and vice versa). During the game, even the closest most loving families become vicious and rowdy.

When teams once belonging to the Southwest Conference joined the Big 12, Texas and a&m agreed to change the game day to the day after Thanksgiving. I have never really gotten over the change, but I accept it. Football is a business after all. So now they are thinking about changing our game day again. Those assholes want to have teams play regular conference games on Thanksgiving weekend. They give some crap ass explanation about schedules and whatever. Bullshit, Big 12. Now Texas isn't the only school with a tradition. Colorado and Nebraska have their big rivalry game the day after Thanksgiving too. They don't want their game changed either.

Thanksgiving is a time to get together with your family, eat too much food, drink too much, have big fights, and watch all the big rivalry games. Football just has more oomph that weekend. Making it a weekend of regular games will ruin it all.

Get a clue, jackasses.

tags: Big 12 Texas A&M Football Thanksgiving Colorado Nebraska rivalry

Here is something you didn't know you needed

Beautiful Silk Ties
Browse our necktie showroom for a comprehensive selection of cool neckties, including; microbe ties, bacteria ties, biology neckties, infectious ties, disease ties, and microbiology neckties. These high quality silk ties make excellent doctor thank you gifts, a novelty gift idea for the graduating doctor, and are ideal for promoting health awareness.

My favorite is plague:

I'm so shocked, not!

Kenneth Lay was "shocked" that a jury found him and Jeffrey Skilling guilty. Well, he's the only one shocked about that. Any shock he may have experienced is nothing compared to the shock of the four thousand employees that lost their jobs and their retirement pensions when the energy giant went belly up out of the blue. I hope they go to jail for a good long time.

tags: Enron Keneth Lay Jeffery Skilling Texas Trial

I'm back from South Texas

This week, I had work to do in George West. Alice , Corpus Christi , and Sinton. You know, just a quick tour of South Texas. One thing I can say is that it was h-o-t. When I got out of the car in Alice, I felt my skin frying in the sun. I guess that's what happens when its 101 degrees. Because I am tired from my rock star tour, I'm only going to write a synopsis of my trip.

One thing I remembered:
Why I live in Texas. As I was driving over the hill on the way into Goliad, the only thing I could see for miles was rolling hill after rolling hill covered in trees. It gave me chills (and it was 98 degrees outside).

Things I learned:
1. There are transgenders everywhere -- even in Alice, Texas. Although I don't know why a transgender (or anyone else for that matter) would stay in Alice.
2. Jesus is the King of Cuero . Its true, I read the sign on the way into town.
3. The Luling Watermelon Thump is the last weekend of June. I am so there!

Things I'd like to forget:
1. How hot Texas is in the summertime (especially since it isn't even summer yet).
2. How crappy it is to drive in San Antonio. I need to remember the Alamo and to take the back roads so I don't have to drive through there again.
3. How much I hate going to George West and that I have to go back next week.

tags: Texas George West Corpus Christi South Texas Goliad Alice Jesus Cuero Luling Watermelon Thump San Antonio

They call me

Dr. Worm

tags: Dr. Worm They Might Be Giants TMBG

Because it is the weekend, they rule,

and I am obsessed with 80's bands that have a song that is the same name as their band name.

tags: Big Country

Tony Snow doesn't want to hug the tar baby

Today I turn to a more serious topic. The new press secretary, Tony Snow. The president has aligned him self with idiot after idiot (after all it takes one to know one). And it didn't take long for Tony Snow to show us what he's all about. A racist idiot. There has been some debate as to whether "hugging the tar baby" is racist or not. Those defending him claim its an old phrase. No one seems to remember hearing it before or know what it might mean. There is an interesting article in The Sentinel discussing this issue.

But let's break it down:

As per wikipedia , "The tar baby is a form of a character widespread in African folklore. In various folktales, gum, wax, or other sticky material is used to trap a person. In Southern black speech in the 19th century, the word "baby" referred to both a baby and a child's "doll." Thus, the expression "tar baby" meant a tar doll or tar mannequin. For an example of such a character in popular American culture see Br'er Rabbit. The term also has a negative connotation. The expression tar baby is also used occasionally as a derogatory term for black people (in the U.S. it refers to African-Americans; in New Zealand it refers to Maoris), or among blacks as a term for a particularly dark-skinned person." (citing Maven's Word of the Day: Tar Baby, February 12 1999, accessed May 16 2006).

I'll leave it up to you to decide.

Here's the video for your viewing pleasure

Rob Corddry is FOX-y

So, FOX has decided to keep its lineup pretty much as it has been (same timeslots and everything). And that's a good thing. Why fix something that isn't broken? And they have given Rob Corddry his own show called "The Winner". That is the best news I've heard all day. So we get to watch 24 (this we know since they resigned Keith Sutherland for 3 years) and Bones. House and Prison Break fans also get to keep watching their shows, too. FOX did replace some of its little watched sitcoms for some crime solving shows. Let's face it everybody stopped watching "That 70s Show" years ago.

CBS has also decided to go with the status quo. And why wouldn't they? They can been the ratings leader all year. They are adding yet another crime show, a comedy and some show about nuclear annihilation. They have also decided to ditch the Sunday Night Movie and replace it with "Amazing Race," "Cold Case", and "Without a Trace." Monday night is comedy night and the rest is CSI, I mean crime dramas and the like.

As expected the CW is a mix of the best of the WB and UPN. Not that I have watched much on either of these networks since they cancelled "Buffy" and "Angel". I love "Supernatural" (and watch it regularly), but I haven't been able to watch "Veronica Mars" because of too many shows in the same timeslot. Maybe this fall that will change. Either it was vicious rumor or they just couldn't make picking up "Invasion" work. Either way, goodbye to a good (and very creepy) show. I guess we will never know what happened to Larkin and her unborn baby.

If you want to look at grid of the new fall lineup go to epguides.com

tags: Rob Corddry Fox YV 24 Bones House Prison Break CBS CSI CW WB UPN

They always do this to me

ABC cancelled another one of my favorite shows -- Invasion. Hopefully, the CW will pick it up for the fall. I'm not holding my breath. Apparently, ABC hates Grey's Anatomy because now they are putting it up against one of those CSI shows. Thursday has been ABC's lowest ratings night since Barney Miller was on the air. I think they are trying to kill it. This move is almost as bad as the year FOX put all of its hip, cool shows on Friday night. Fast track to series death.

If you liked any of the new series on ABC, you are out of luck. They decided the whole lot was crap and are giving us brand new crap next fall. Personally, I have no interest in watching Callista Flockhart do anything, ever. But I am interested to see how it works for Dancing with the Stars to lead into Lost. Seems odd to me, but only time and ratings will tell.

tags: ABC CW Grey's Anatomy CSI Barney Miller Fox Dancing with the Stars Lost

My new favorite book

My favorite book for a long time has been "Bitter with Baggage Seeks Same (The Life and Times of Some Chickens)" by Sloane Tanen. But since I've read "Going for the Bronze", I think that is my new favorite. While it would be fair to say that I hate birds as a whole, I love these chickens!

tags: Bitter with Baggage Seeks Same Going for the Bronze Sloane Tanen

Immigration and TV reform

Last night the President came on TV to talk about immigration reform. In short, everyone has a different idea about what to do about this "problem" while very few are realistic in their plans. Its like W hasn't never had to deal with immigration issues before. Maybe that's because when he was the governor, he was too busy learning how to mangle the Spanish language. The thing that pissed me off the most about his little speech is that he completely fucked up the television schedule for the night. My DVR was not prepared to make the adjustment to record all of Grey's Anatomy. I'd rather watch that than W anytime.

In other TV news, yesterday NBC confirmed that they have monkeys running their programming department. They cancelled Surface. Instead, they give Regis Philbin a show that rips off American Idol and a new ensemble Friends type show. No wonder NBC comes in fourth in the ratings. They give us crap TV. How many times a week do you have to watch some version of Law and Order? At least My Name is Earl and Medium will be back.

tags: Bush immigration Texas NBC Surface Regis Philbin American Idol TV Law and Order My Name is Earl Medium

It really isn't a problem...

...to leave out a known group of people from useless polls. Apparently, pollsters aren't concerned that they are leaving out people that only have a cell phone from their inane polls. Why would you want to get the opinion from a group that is "younger, less affluent, and more liberal"? That might actually change the results that these polls come up with. God forbid.

tags: polls pollsters liberal cell phone

Is love the ultimate dream?

Or is Olivia Newton-John and a disco roller rink enough?

tags: Olivia Newton-John Xanadu

The Onion Reads Alito's Mind

'The Onion' Reads Alito's Mind
The National Law Journal
May 12, 2006

Sometimes even satirical newspapers get it right.

Shortly following his confirmation to the U.S. Supreme Court, Justice Samuel Alito read a story in The Onion suggesting that he was annoying his new colleagues by going on about how much better things were run on his old home turf, the 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals.

"It was very disorienting," Alito confessed to the assembled judges and lawyers during a black-tie dinner at a recent circuit conference, because the newspaper must have been reading his mind about the relative efficiency of the high court.

"I hadn't said anything to anyone," he said. "But I had been thinking it."

The conference also heard from Justice David Souter, often pilloried as a liberal in conservative clothing. While Alito's confirmation was pending, the political right's rallying cry was: "No more Souters."

With that history, Souter cheerfully broke the news that Alito had issued his first Supreme Court opinion -- and that the staunch conservative had reversed a criminal conviction in North Carolina. "A year from now will I read headlines, 'No more Alitos?'" Souter wondered aloud.

tags: The Onion Alito Supreme Court Humor

migraines suck

So, I woke up Monday morning with a fierce headache and it quickly deteriorated into a migraine. This morning is the first day that I feel almost human. I am still exhausted from having my head in a vice for three days. So that is why I haven't updated my blog all week. Get over it.

tags: migraines

Let's Impeach the President for Lying

Let's Impeach the President by Neil Young

Lets impeach the president for lying
And leading our country into war
Abusing all the power that we gave him
And shipping all our money out the door

Hes the man who hired all the criminals
The White House shadows who hide behind closed doors
And bend the facts to fit with their new stories
Of why we have to send our men to war

Lets impeach the president for spying
On citizens inside their own homes
Breaking every law in the country
By tapping our computers and telephones

What if Al Qaeda blew up the levees
Would New Orleans have been safer that way
Sheltered by our governments protection
Or was someone just not home that day?

Lets impeach the president
For hijacking our religion and using it to get elected
Dividing our country into colors
And still leaving black people neglected

Thank god hes cracking down on steroids
Since he sold his old baseball team
Theres lot of people looking at big trouble
But of course the president is clean

Thank God

tags: Impeach Bush Neil Young

why don't you

PULL MY FINGER!

tags: farts pull my finger

but now we know

that what really happened is that Patrick Kennedy has a drug problem. I am so shocked.

tags: Patrick Kennedy drugs drug problem

I wonder if Patrick Kennedy is a sleep eater too...

Is this another case of Ambien doing bad things to you? While it isn't as humorous as the videos of midnight Ambien eaters, it did make me giggle. The Congressman crashed his car at about 2:45 am on Thursday into a Capitol barrier claiming to police that he was late for a vote. So, did he really think he was late or is it another case of that bad Kennedy judgment?

tags: Patrick Kennedy Ambien

Am I movie literate?

According to Jim Emerson, there are 102 Movies I should see before I die. So, do I have to see all of them to be considered movie literate and do I really have to see all of them before I die?

For your entertainment (and to determine my movie "literateness") here is the essential list. I have marked the movies I've seen with an "*" so you can see how much time I spend watching movies.

* "2001: A Space Odyssey" (1968) Stanley Kubrick
"The 400 Blows" (1959) Francois Truffaut
* "8 1/2" (1963) Federico Fellini
"Aguirre, the Wrath of God" (1972) Werner Herzog
* "Alien" (1979) Ridley Scott
* "All About Eve" (1950) Joseph L. Mankiewicz
* "Annie Hall" (1977) Woody Allen
* "Apocalypse Now" (1979) Francis Ford Coppola
* "Bambi" (1942) Disney
"The Battleship Potemkin" (1925) Sergei Eisenstein
"The Best Years of Our Lives" (1946) William Wyler
"The Big Red One" (1980) Samuel Fuller
* "The Bicycle Thief" (1949) Vittorio De Sica
"The Big Sleep" (1946) Howard Hawks
* "Blade Runner" (1982) Ridley Scott
* "Blowup" (1966) Michelangelo Antonioni
* "Blue Velvet" (1986) David Lynch
* "Bonnie and Clyde" (1967) Arthur Penn
"Breathless" (1959 Jean-Luc Godard
* "Bringing Up Baby" (1938) Howard Hawks
* "Carrie" (1975) Brian DePalma
* "Casablanca" (1942) Michael Curtiz
"Un Chien Andalou" (1928) Luis Bunuel & Salvador Dali
"Children of Paradise" / "Les Enfants du Paradis" (1945) Marcel Carne
* "Chinatown" (1974) Roman Polanski
* "Citizen Kane" (1941) Orson Welles
* "A Clockwork Orange" (1971) Stanley Kubrick
* "The Crying Game" (1992) Neil Jordan
* "The Day the Earth Stood Still" (1951) Robert Wise
"Days of Heaven" (1978) Terence Malick
* "Dirty Harry" (1971) Don Siegel
"The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie" (1972) Luis Bunuel
* "Do the Right Thing" (1989 Spike Lee
* "La Dolce Vita" (1960) Federico Fellini
"Double Indemnity" (1944) Billy Wilder
* "Dr. Strangelove" (1964) Stanley Kubrick
* "Duck Soup" (1933) Leo McCarey
* "E.T. -- The Extra-Terrestrial" (1982) Steven Spielberg
* "Easy Rider" (1969) Dennis Hopper
* "The Empire Strikes Back" (1980) Irvin Kershner
* "The Exorcist" (1973) William Friedkin
* "Fargo" (1995) Joel & Ethan Coen
* "Fight Club" (1999) David Fincher
* "Frankenstein" (1931) James Whale
* "The General" (1927) Buster Keaton & Clyde Bruckman
* "The Godfather," "The Godfather, Part II" (1972, 1974) Francis Ford Coppola
* "Gone With the Wind" (1939) Victor Fleming
* "GoodFellas" (1990) Martin Scorsese
* "The Graduate" (1967) Mike Nichols
* "Halloween" (1978) John Carpenter
* "A Hard Day's Night" (1964) Richard Lester
"Intolerance" (1916) D.W. Griffith
"It's a Gift" (1934) Norman Z. McLeod
* "It's a Wonderful Life" (1946) Frank Capra
* "Jaws" (1975) Steven Spielberg
"The Lady Eve" (1941) Preston Sturges
* "Lawrence of Arabia" (1962) David Lean
* "M" (1931) Fritz Lang
* "Mad Max 2" / "The Road Warrior" (1981) George Miller
* "The Maltese Falcon" (1941) John Huston
* "The Manchurian Candidate" (1962) John Frankenheimer
* "Metropolis" (1926) Fritz Lang
* "Modern Times" (1936) Charles Chaplin
* "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" (1975) Terry Jones & Terry Gilliam
* "Nashville" (1975) Robert Altman
"The Night of the Hunter" (1955) Charles Laughton
* "Night of the Living Dead" (1968) George Romero
* "North by Northwest" (1959) Alfred Hitchcock
* "Nosferatu" (1922) F.W. Murnau
* "On the Waterfront" (1954) Elia Kazan
* "Once Upon a Time in the West" (1968) Sergio Leone
"Out of the Past" (1947) Jacques Tournier
"Persona" (1966) Ingmar Bergman
* "Pink Flamingos" (1972) John Waters
* "Psycho" (1960) Alfred Hitchcock
* "Pulp Fiction" (1994) Quentin Tarantino
"Rashomon" (1950) Akira Kurosawa
* "Rear Window" (1954) Alfred Hitchcock
* "Rebel Without a Cause" (1955) Nicholas Ray
* "Red River" (1948) Howard Hawks
"Repulsion" (1965) Roman Polanski
"The Rules of the Game" (1939) Jean Renoir
* "Scarface" (1932) Howard Hawks
"The Scarlet Empress" (1934) Josef von Sternberg
* "Schindler's List" (1993) Steven Spielberg
"The Searchers" (1956) John Ford
* "The Seven Samurai" (1954) Akira Kurosawa
* "Singin' in the Rain" (1952) Stanley Donen & Gene Kelly
* "Some Like It Hot" (1959) Billy Wilder
* "A Star Is Born" (1954) George Cukor
* "A Streetcar Named Desire" (1951) Elia Kazan
* "Sunset Boulevard" (1950) Billy Wilder
* "Taxi Driver" (1976) Martin Scorsese
"The Third Man" (1949) Carol Reed
"Tokyo Story" (1953) Yasujiro Ozu
"Touch of Evil" (1958) Orson Welles
* "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre" (1948) John Huston
"Trouble in Paradise" (1932) Ernst Lubitsch
* "Vertigo" (1958) Alfred Hitchcock
* "West Side Story" (1961) Jerome Robbins/Robert Wise
* "The Wild Bunch" (1969) Sam Peckinpah
* "The Wizard of Oz" (1939) Victor Fleming

Well, that's 75 *s! And in my world, a 75 is a passing grade. I guess I'm semi-literate when it comes to movies...

tags: 102 movies

I'm not mad anymore

Well, at least not at Technorati. "They" finally let me claim my blog today. I'm still mad about a lot of things, but I can mark them off my list.

tags: technorati blog

a shout out to...

13th Floor. It is always fun when someone thinks I posted a blog that is worth reposting.

why don't you

give me my $100 rebate now and solve the oil crisis later? I could use the money and I also know that no matter what stupid plan Congress comes up with, it wont fix anything. Although, I could use more than 100 bucks for my gas rebate since my job requires that I drive all over Texas instead of across town like most people.

tags: Texas gas rebate Congress

both republicans and democrats like to tax and spend (and put us all in debt)

Someone sent me an email with this list of taxes and fees that are charged by the government. This list is long and probably leaves out a lot of taxes that we pay.

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
Capital Gains Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Court Fines (indirect taxes)
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax Interest expense (tax on the money)
Inventory tax IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Local Income Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Septic Permit Tax
Service Charge Taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Taxes (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Road Toll Booth Taxes
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Toll Bridge Taxes
Toll Tunnel Taxes
Traffic Fines (indirect taxation)
Trailer Registration Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

The email I got points out that these taxes and fees did not exist 100 years ago and there was no national debt. I'm not sure if this completely accurate, but I do know that there are millions of Americans struggling to survive and our national debt is astronomical. What the fuck?

tags: republicans democrats tax taxes debt

on this day...

George Washington was inaugurated as the first U.S. president in 1789.

The United States purchased the Louisiana Territory from France under the Louisiana Purchase agreement in 1803 (the treaty was signed May 2, but dated April 30).

Louisiana became the 18th U.S. State in 1812.

Television first publicly broadcast from the Empire State Building in 1939.

Adolf Hitler committed suicide in 1945.

The Vietnam War ended in 1975.

tags: George Washington Louisiana Empire State Building Hitler Vietnam War

I get knocked down, but I get up again

My trip to South Texas ends on a sad note. The "fun" as we had in Hebbronville was soon overshadowed by the trip back to Austin. In short, my transmission went out. I'm so glad I just spent a lot of money getting my air conditioner fixed a couple of weeks ago. By the time we got to San Antonio, my car could only go 40 mph. While driving the whole way back on the frontage road gave me opportunity to see things I've never noticed before, it really makes for a much longer trip. It took 8 hours to make what should have been a little over 4....

And then there was Buda. Right before we made it to Buda, my front right tire blew out. Aaagh! A really nice DPS Trooper stopped to see what was going on. Actually, he wasn't very nice until I started chatting to him about how my cousin is a DPS trooper. So, that's always fun to talk to cops. And its really fun to fall over for reason right in front of cops. That's what happened to me when my stupid flip flop broke! Naturally, the spare tire did not have enough air so we had to stop once again to fix that.

So, now I have a car that needs a new tire and a new transmission. Since fixing the transmission costs more than the car is worth, I have to figure out how the hell I am going to buy another car. That's why I keep singing, "I get knocked down, but I get up again..."

tags: South Texas Hebbronville Austin Travel San Antonio Buda DPS cops car trouble

south texas sucks, but hebbronville rules

This week I have been to lovely Laredo and Hebbronville. When I got to Laredo, it was a cool and breezy 108 degrees. That is the actual temperature, not the heat index. I just hope I don't have to go back anytime this summer. I think I might melt and die.

Next stop, Hebbronville. Where is that, you ask? Basically, it is in the middle of fucking nowhere. And there really isn't much to it. Mostly, there are a bunch of empty and rundown buildings and the courthouse. Despite the crappiness of the town, it isn't really that bad. Don't get me wrong, I sure as fuck do not want to live here. However, I have had the best time here. Working at the courthouse was a dream. I found what I needed right away. I had a kick ass dinner. I highly recommend Peppers. The fried pork chops rocked and they served real green beans -- not that canned shit. And what really topped it off, was that when my sweetie and I went to the convenience store, the guy gave him the best cap ever for free. Every boy needs a camouflage cap that reads:

South Texas
Trophy Hunter
Hebbronville, Texas

(and don't forget about the embroidered deer!)

tags: South Texas Texas Laredo Hebbronville Travel fried pork chops

quote of the day

silence is golden, but duct tape is silver

tags: duct tape

dance, monkeys, dance

This really sums up how arrogant and ignorant humans are.

The Times finally got some real fashion sense!

Go read about my friend Lauri, the best clothes finder ever! And when you're done, go read her bad ass blog.

tags: New York Times Foundclothing

I can't believe it!

I got my new driver's license today. I was sad when I lost mine because it was a pretty good picture. But my new one is even better. I bet it wont take long to lose it just because I like the picture and I hate the one on my passport...

hello!

Occasionally, I like to see who's been reading my blog. Today I noticed that someone from Sugar Land, Texas came for a visit. I hope it was Tom DeLay. Just in case it is you Tommy, I'd like to congratulate you on your resignation. There is nothing classier than having to resign from your job because you face jail time. Keep up the good work.

tags: Sugar Land Texas Tom DeLay

why in the world

would you let someone in your house to give you a free breast exam? That's just insane. Don't get me wrong, that's one sick motherfucker for assaulting women like that. BUT, why do women do stupid things and put them selves in the position of becoming a victim? Why would you let a man that is a stranger to you into your house to touch your breasts? It just doesn't make sense to me. Can someone explain this?

farewell, TresChicas. you will be missed.

Last year I got addicted to reading TresChicas on a regular basis (well as regular as anything can be in my life). Then when I got locked out of my other addiction, MySpace, it is what inspired me to start my own mediocre blog. I'm sad its gone because I really enjoyed Lauri's rantings and snarky comments, but as they say -- nothing lasts forever.

If you like Chuck Norris

Then click here to learn more
Update: unfortunately, she has changed her myspace profile. It was hilarious. But if you want to learn some Chuck Norris Facts, then click here.

tags: Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Facts

fuck you, bush

Today Baby Boy Bush has been talking about how they should make these infamous tax cuts permanent. I really wish that he could see where I live, how much I make, what bills I have and then see how much money I still owe the government. He should just fuck off. Reform the fucking tax code so that you don't need a fucking phD in taxes to do it. Why should it take me hours to guess what information they want from their shitty instructions? So fuck you, Bush and fuck the Republican party.

tags: Bush Taxes Tax Cuts Republican Party

i will survive

don't you hate it when

someone tells you about a really bad song that they have stuck in their head and the mention of it puts it in yours too?

if Bush doesn't scare you, this should

tags: Bush

google me softly

Obviously if you enter: "wasps 'courthouse tower'" then my blog is the top hit. And why wouldn't it be?

I'm also the top hit for: "legal prostitution is good" and for "life sucks sometimes, but the alternative is unacceptable"

I'm glad that I can come out on top every once in a while. Even if it is for odd things like wasps in the courthouse tower.

don't ever drive your car again!

Over the past several years, I have seen quite a few emails and myspace bulletins about gas boycotts. The latest one is that you shouldn't buy gas from ExxonMobil until they lower the price of gas to $1.30. The theory being that since they are the largest oil company, that they will be forced to lower prices if their gas sales drop. This is just as ridiculous as not buying gas on whatever random day "they" tell you not to. For one thing, the oil and gas industry is not strictly based on the supply and demand theory. There are factors like instability in countries that supply the petroleum products on which we rely, the commodities market, the whims of the stock market, etc. And as much as you wish it were true, the gas they sell at the pump is not their only source of income. So good luck with your boycott. In my opinion, if you are so concerned about the price of gas then stop driving your fucking car.

deposition Texas style

Watch Joe Jamail show you who is running this deposition...

tags: Texas Deposition Joe Jamail

quote of the day

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

-Albert Einstein

tags: Albert Einstein quote

is immigration as urgent as the gossip about Lindsay Lohan?

Truth be told, my life has been super crazy and I haven't had a lot of time to follow the news. I have looked at some of the "top stories" or whatever it is the media wants me to worry about. My favorite thing is this whole immigration debate. Some of the crap ass arguments I've heard about stricter laws are just beyond stupid. Just so you know where I stand on this issue, it is my personal opinion that the immigrants are good for our economy and that it is really a non-issue. Give them guest worker status and make them pay into the system like the rest of us. They get jobs, the government gets taxes.

Here is my take on some of the stupid shit lawmakers have come up with:

"We've got to do something, we don't know what their intentions are or why they are coming here!" Get real. Most people come to this country to work. Only a handful come here to kill us. This is not a matter of dire national security.

"Let's build a fence!" The whole idea of a fence is retarded. Hello, wirecutters! Should we take every shovel away from the Mexicans to keep them from tunneling, too? I don't know why they bother. Every time I have been to the border, I have seen people just run through the border check point and wade across the Rio Grande next to the bridge. We I see this, I think to myself, "I hope they make it." Anyway, the border patrol is too busy making sure college kids don't bring back too much tequila to pay attention to Mexicans crossing the border illegally.

"We should make it a serious criminal offense to come to this country illegally and deport everyone that does." Actually, I think it would be funny to watch the government try to round up and deport 11 million people. I bet it will be just as successful and the war on Iraq.

"Giving illegals guest worker permits is the same thing as amnesty." So what? If they are going to work here, make them pay taxes. If you kick them out, they are just going to come back anyway.

So that's my two cents.

tags: Immigration Texas

my life is hell...

...and I have a headache "this big". I was watching my new favorite show last night (Deadliest Catch -- thanks to the dvr) and I heard a quote from one of the crabbers that may be my new mantra: "Life sucks, but the alternative is unacceptable."

I think I like Chris Bell

As I was driving to one of my favorite places for work this morning, I heard Chris Bell on the radio. Honestly, my apathy towards the election this year has surprised me. I really haven't really been giving a shit about who might be our next governor. Or anything else for that matter. Texas has become all republic, all the time and there is not an end in sight. But, I digress. So, anyway, he was talking about school finance (a sexy topic) and he seemed like a reasonable, intelligent person that wants to solve the problem. He, unlike so many politicians, actually has kids that are in public school. He also recognized that whatever those idiots (my word NOT his) do this special session is just the beginning and there is a lot more to do. He already makes Rick Perry look like a world class fool on this point alone. Although Perry doesn't need anyone's help to look like a fool since that just comes naturally. Up until today, I was actually thinking about voting for Kinky just because he would at least have something funny to say even if it lacked substance. Now I think I might be able to cast a vote that I can feel good about. Of course, November is a ways away and I can always change my mind.

got alaskan king crab?

If you haven't seen the Deadliest Catch on the Discovery Channel, then you have really missed out.  Lucky for you, a new season starts tomorrow night.  Usually I like my reality shows with a side of fluff, but these danger rangers are intense.  They get thrown overboard into freezing water, they get pummeled by freezing storms, and sometimes they die.  

is technorati your friend?

Well, I can't answer that question for you and I'm not even going to try. While trying to claim my blog for the millionth time -- don't even get me started on that one! But please read on if you want to hear my rant-- I started looking at the trendy searches for the day. Today, the top search was for "unhinged". While that seems like a silly search term in itself, the results are even more so. The top hits are for blogs doing exactly what I am about to do. They are all commenting on how unhinged is the top Technorati search term. For real? Is this how people get others to read their blogs on a daily basis? Do people think to themselves,"I'm going to blog about the trendy Technorati search terms!" ??? And yet.

My interest in the trendy search terms is really just for occasional entertainment. What really keeps me going back to Technorati is my stubbornness. When I first started this blog, I tried to claim it on Technorati. It wouldn't let me. I followed their directions and contacted the "help" people. Or whatever. After a day or two I got a friendly canned email telling me that they would contact me soon about claiming my blog. They suggested I write back if I didn't hear from them again within a few days. Nothing. I wrote back. Nothing. Occasionally, I try to claim my blog. It never works. I write to them as per their suggestion. Nothing. So, I guess I can answer my question. technorati may be your friend, but right now Technorati and I are not playing well together.

all you gotta do is act naturally

goodbye, buck

Magnum P.I. got me thinking this week...

While I was at home this week, sick and in bed, I had a lot of time to watch TV. One morning I was watching Magnum, P.I. (it is the best thing on at 11 am if you don't like the Young and the Restless). So, Magnum was driving his car down the road and I saw an interstate sign. It got me thinking about something that I had wondered about before... why are they called interstate highways if Hawaii is an island? I mentioned this to my sweetheart, and all he said was, "well, what about Alaska?" And then I thought, what about Alaska AND Puerto Rico???

As per Merriam-Webster the word "interstate" is defined as follows:
"Pronunciation: "in-t&r-'stAt
Function: adjective
: of, connecting, or existing between two or more states especially of the U.S. "

So by the very definition of the word "interstate" you CANNOT have an interstate highway in Hawaii, Alaska or Puerto Rico. So what's the deal?

According to wikipedia "While the name implies that these highways cross state lines, many Interstates do not. Rather, it is the system of interstates that connects states. There are interstate highways in Hawaii, funded in the same way as in the other states, but entirely within the populous island of Oahu. They have the designation of H-X, and connect military bases. Similarly, both Alaska and Puerto Rico have public roads that receive funding from the Interstate program, though these routes are not signed as Interstate Highways."

I'm glad they figured out that Alaska and Puerto Rico can't have interstate highways, but this still doesn't give me a reasonable explanation about Hawaii. Are they trying to tell me by connecting military bases in Oahu, that it is part of the system that connects the states? Well, I don't buy it.

As for the list of interstates that don't cross state lines , I do know that the interstates in Texas will lead you to another interstate highway that will eventually take you out of Texas. So, I buy into them being "interstate" in the sense that they are part of the system that connects the states.

what the fuck is a bottle cap tripod?

and why does everyone want to look it up on the internet?

you are what you eat, Lindsay Lohan!

If you want to know about how your fruit was grown, read the label. Conventionally grown fruit has four digits; organically grown fruit has five and starts with a nine; genetically engineered has five numbers and starts with an eight. And that's your trivia for the day.

do as I say, not as I do

TSG has posted a humorous order by the court to refuse pleadings and motions with illegible signatures. So, shouldn't the clerk refuse the order because the judge's signature is illegible?

here's some toilet humor for you

this story is tragically funny. While it made a horrible mess (and smell!), exploding toilets are still funny.

gee, your blog smells terrific

so, my readership has been fluxuating a little but mostly holding low and steady.  every once in a while I get that crazy surge that makes me hopeful that I have gotten readers and not just passers by.  but overall, maybe a couple of people stop by everyday.  but if those two people liked my blog, and then told ten friends (or even one!) and they told ten friends (or whatever) then my readership would spread like wild fire and my readers would be living the gee your hair smells terrific commercial!

r.i.p. jesse "guitar" taylor

you will be missed by many

i'm moving to vermont

those crazy yankees have the  right idea .

phones

Thanks Alexander Graham Bell.  You patented the phone on this day in 1876.  My life would be so much easier without a phone, so I'm not really sure if that thanks is sarcastic or not...

Remember the Alamo!

On this day in 1836, Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna captured the Alamo.  It took 1500 soldiers from the Mexican army thirteen days to defeat 189 men.  Go Texas!

you should read this

abortion manual (especially if you live in a state that is dead to me or that is on notice).

gobble gobble

more lies from bush

my journal entry...

Today was really great.
I got out of bed really late because my alarm clock has broken and I cannot afford a new one at the moment.
I feel unusual because my antidepressants are making me hairy.
I'm so stoned.
Last night I had to masturbate twenty times. I'm so horny. Click here to see my website.
I want to tell the world that I'm gay.
I am sharpening my knives before I go to work today, because I'm going to cut out Robert's heart and feed it to him for losing my mail.
Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's ten thousand photographs of my cat.
I want to say thanks to the world for absolutely fucking nothing! You all suck. I feel so alone, no one ever reads this journal, or even comments to let me know that I'm not suffering alone. It's cold here, and I want to die, but I cannot figure out how many of you to take with me when I go.
I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have a terrible skin disease which prevents me from coming into contact with other human beings. And bipolar disorder.
You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you what your favourite sexual position is.
That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this poem I wrote. It's about my friend Robert, who has bipolar disorder. Just like me. And Heidi.

Created with the Gregor's Semi-Automatic LiveJournal Updater™. Update your journal today!
Powered by Rum and Monkey

happy texas independence day!

On this day in 1836, Texas told Mexico to take a flying leap.  After some fierce battles, Texas finally became a Republic.  Too bad we didn't stay that way...

Also on this day in 1793, Sam Houston was born.  After retreating from several battles (which led to accusations that he was a sissy coward), he kicked ass at the Battle of San Jacinto on April 12, 1836 in just 18 minutes.  The next day he captured Santa Anna who recognized Texas' independence.

my blogger widget rocks

now I can post my random thoughts with ease.

what is the president up to now?

Baby Boy Bush (BBB) has made quite the prediction about capturing Osama bin Laden. With his surprise trip to Afghanistan and his huge secret service detail, we'd have to guess something is going on. Does this mean that bin Laden has already been captured and they are waiting for the right time to stage his capture (as in when BBB is in the same country)? Or as it was suggested by an acquaintance of mine, that there will be an assassination attempt on BBB while the world has its eyes and television cameras on him. Whatever is going on, my prediction is that it is designed to boost his approval rating and help re-elect republicans in the midterm elections.