Thursday, May 31, 2007

Bikers, bikers galore!

That's right, the ROT Rally is here one again. So all you drivers need to take extra care for our visiting friends on bikes starting today. You are bigger and protected. They will die if you hit them. Just something to think about. Besides, if you pay attention you are likely to see something like ASTRO riding his Harley about town (click for bigger). And the Pineapple friends are welcome to come over on Friday before the parade -- don't forget to bring beer and a chair because there are a lot of bikes. Vrooooooooooom!


Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The world is a crazy place

And the people living in it aren't helping things. Dick Cheney became a grandpa again. This time by his lesbian daughter, Mary, and her partner, Heather Poe. It baffles the mind how you can be so hateful towards gay people and their personal life choices and still have a relationship with your daughter that is one. I don't know how she puts up with his bullshit and hypocracy. But I guess that is their business.

In light of this, the rabidly insane christians are out for blood. Please see the press release below (written by a former homosexual -- go figure that one out). The Parents Group has a strange concept of what a "real" parent is. Apparently, Heather Poe is not a real parent even though she is going to be the one that performs all of the necessary functions that a parent performs. According to them, the only real parents you can have are your biological daddy and your biological mommy. I know people that are adopted and they consider their adopted parents to be pretty damn real. And since when is it any of their business what other people do so long as they are raising happy and healthy children. There are lots of kids out there with a "real" mommy and "real" daddy that are being treated like shit. Why don't they worry about that instead? Don't you think god would want them to care about that?

The press release also calls homosexuals raising children a "social experiment". What the hell is that all about? I find it offensive and again, none of their business. I'm sure homosexuals have been raising children since the beginning of time. We just didn't talk about it. And if god is so pissed off, then why doesn't he show himself and make things really clear? But that would take the fun out of all the crazy people twisting and "interpreting" the bible so that they can tell us how we are all going to hell because we don't think the same things they do.

As far as I'm concerned, Mary Cheney and Heather Poe are the "real" parents to that baby and I wish them the best.

**********************************************
Date: May 30, 2007
From: The Parents Group
By: Stephen Bennett

White House Officially Recognizes Homosexual Unions and Parenting?

HUNTINGTON, Conn., May 30 /Christian Newswire/ -- On May 23, 2007, the White House, silently and without any fanfare, released an official White House photo of Vice President Dick Cheney and his wife, Lynne Cheney, welcoming their sixth grandchild, Samuel David Cheney, into the Cheney fold.

The beautiful little tyke weighed in at 8 lbs., 6 oz. and was born at 9:46 a.m. at Sibley House in Washington, D.C.

What is extremely troubling is the official White House caption that appears underneath the photo on the official White House website:

... His parents are the Cheney's daughter Mary, and her partner, Heather Poe. White House photo by David Bohrer.

Since when have two homosexual women been able to naturally procreate?

Fact is Mary Cheney, the Vice President's daughter - in one way or another - received a male's sperm. She is the biological mother, parent number one, and some man, somewhere out there, is Samuel David's real biological father, parent number two.

Unlike the official White House photo caption, a man and a woman, a Daddy and a Mommy, are Samuel David Cheney's REAL biological parents.

Then who is Heather Poe?

Heather Poe is Mary Cheney's live-in lesbian lover. She may act like a parent, she may treat the baby as a parent, she may love this baby with all of her heart, but in this reality we all live in, Heather Poe is NOT the baby's real parent. She has NO biological connection to the child whatsoever. Some man, the baby's real Daddy, is the child's other REAL parent.

If the Vice President and his wife Lynne are joining their daughter Mary in playing this homosexual game of "house," then all have chosen their roles and designated lesbian lover Heather Poe as the "Daddy."

Everyone knows there can only be one REAL biological Mommy. We are all grown adults. Playing "house" is a game for children, not for The White House or the Vice President and his wife.
What is so hypocritical of this Administration is its "double-speak."

President George W. Bush held several presses conferences calling for a Federal Marriage Amendment to protect the God-ordained institution of marriage between one man and one woman, while homosexuals pushed for the union of two men or two women to be equally recognized as real "marriage."

However, the President's number two, right hand man, Vice President Dick Cheney, clearly rebels against his superior, makes a public mockery of the President and the current Administration he is supposed to represent, and clearly holds to a different set of moral standards and beliefs.

When President Bush stood on the victory stage several years ago after being elected into office by values voters, Mary Cheney was on stage as well with her lesbian lover, Heather Poe. It was a slap in the face to the values voters who had just elected the duo into office. That wound has never healed.

While this little innocent child Samuel David Cheney deserves every fighting chance at life, the sins of two women, Mary Cheney and Heather Poe, have deliberately denied the Vice President's grandson one of the most basic human rights of all: the right to a Daddy and a Mommy.

I say shame on the White House, shame on the President and shame on the Vice President for allowing such a caption to be "officially" added onto the White House website and such a beautiful photo of two happy grandparents and their new grandchild.

I guess we can tragically and officially say both the White House and Bush Administration have officially recognized the sinful sexual unions of homosexuals, as well as recognized and embraced the tragedy of the social experiment of homosexual parenting.

Stephen Bennett is founder of www.TheParentsGroup.com, a worldwide support group for parents, grandparents, family members and friends with homosexual loved ones.

Bennett lived the homosexual lifestyle for over 11 years with over 100 partners, until he finally left it all in 1992. Today, Stephen is happily married to his wife Irene of almost 14 years. The couple has two beautiful children, a young boy and a girl.

Bennett has appeared on almost every major network and cable news program, advocating for the traditional family, the protection of children and proclaiming the truth about homosexuality.
**********************************************

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Hello, Republican Party of Texas!

I'm so glad you could stop by! Apparently, ya'll are looking for information about Pretty Boy Perry. I'm mean that is the page you visited. But you didn't stay very long. I hope I didn't scare you off. I have so many other entries that you might be interested in. I have a whole series of blogs about my buddy Alberto and about all of the stupid things you people have been trying to accomplish this session. But please come back, you are always welcome. Even though you are too busy trying to dictate my personal actions and moral welfare rather than solving the pressing issues like education and health care.

Paris Hilton Goes to Jail

I haven't written anything about the trials and tribulations of Paris because everybody else has, I don't care all that much, and I think she deserves to go to jail. But, I did read something interesting. Apparently, her sentence has already been reduced for good behavior even though she hasn't even checked in yet. Let's face it, her behavior hasn't been that great. If it had been, we wouldn't know who she is in the first place and she would not have violated her parole. Oh well, I'm sure she will look hot in that orange jumpsuit.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

A Stupid Way To Save Money

The Texas House and Senate are up to it again. They have decided that they really need to legislate marriage some more. On Monday, they passed an "incentive" bill to get couples to go to counseling before applying for a marriage license. They want to raise the fee for a marriage license to $60. BUT if you go to an 8 hour marriage class first, you can get your license for the discounted price of $30. I don't see how paying $60 or an 8 hour course will slow down the divorce rate that is such a concern to Warren Chism (Republican/Nazi - Pampa). Once you are an adult, you are free to make all kinds of stupid decisions. I would like to pass a bill to stop the government from wasting time and start fixing things that really need it. Maybe if people had a better basic education, they would have the skills they need to make better decisions. Just a thought...

Jerry's Last Time

So Jerry Falwell died today at the age of 73. He was found unconscious in his office at Liberty University and rushed to the hospital. He probably died because he has "a history of heart challenges," but they aren't saying.

Jerry Falwell has brought us some good times. Like founding a college with an ironic name. I guess liberty is limited to what he thinks god wants you to do and think.

He also brought us fun phrases like when he told us that the bible talks about "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." Thanks, Jerry! That one never gets old.

He said other things like gays, lesbians and health workers who provide abortions were partly to blame for the September 11 attacks. I guess you got to blame someone, because god doesn't like us to explain things by saying "shit happens."

Then there's the "Moral Majority." Weeeee! Way to get a rabid minority of bible thumpers to highjack the Republican party. Barry Goldwater probably rolls over in his grave everytime someone mentions those two words together.

But the best is the case Hustler Magazine, Inc. v. Falwell. While a lot of people probably read Hustler (for the articles, of course!), I don't think it was enough to really Jerry's image. Just how much emotional distress could that cause a good christian that shouldn't be reading that trash anyway? And I've always wondered did he "read" the rest of the issue containing the Campari ad spoof? But in the end, the Supreme Court decided that the ad wasn't libel and that a public figure could not recover damages for intentional infliction of emotional distress based on a satire, because under the First Amendment, an obvious satire or parody of a public figure remains protected speech, even if it causes emotional distress to that person. This case proved only to give us a good laugh (because then everyone saw the ad) and inspired a movie about the king of smut, Larry Flynt.

So thanks for all the good times, Jerry!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

This is the summer of 3

It is that time of year -- summer blockbuster movies galore. Just like every year, the majority of them are crap. Usually we are faced with a bunch of sequels to crappy movies -- and there are some of those coming soon to a theater near you. But what is special about this summer is that Hollywood is banking on the fact that you liked some of those sequels so much that you want to the third one.

Here is a list of the ones I can think of:
Spider-Man 3
Rush Hour 3
Oceans 13
Shrek the Third
The Bourne Ultimatum
Resident Evil: Extinction
Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End

See what I mean? But what really suprises me is that I actually want to see some of those movies. What is wrong with me? Maybe I should just go see Hot Fuzz two more times instead...

Bobum!

Happy Birthday!

"You're older than you've ever been.
And now you're even older.
And now you're even older.
And now you're even older.

You're older than you've ever been.
And now you're even older.
And now you're older still."

-They Might Be Giants

Thursday, May 03, 2007

GOP Debate = Drinking Game

I was reading today that since the GOP Presidential Debate is being held at the Reagan Presidential Library that the hopefuls will try to compare themselves to this former president. Just to be clear, I am not the one that came up with the idea of this being a drinking game.

This is the quote from the article I read: "If this debate were a drinking game, and you had to imbibe every time you hear the word 'Reagan,' you would pass out before the closing remarks,'' predicted Bill Whalen, a research fellow at the Hoover Institution at Stanford University.

So, if you are still into that kind of thing you can watch the debate tonight at 5 p.m. PDT on MSNBC and at www.politico.com. Let me know how it goes.