Unfortunately the camping ban near the Bush "Ranch" was held to be constitutional by a federal judge. There goes my summer vacation plans.
** I call it a "ranch" because he just cuts brush and rides his bike. The proper term is "property" because it is not used for raising horses, beef cattle, or sheep as per the definition of any Texan and Merriam Webster. So there.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Here we go again...
Tom DeLay is back at it. He says, "I will take the actions necessary to remove my name from the Texas ballot. To do anything else would be hypocrisy." Oh really? Is that why there were a few days in there when you weren't so sure if you live in Virginia or Texas? Of course, if I were from Sugar Land I would not claim that crap hole as my home.
I guess he is doing this to pass the time until his trial for laudering money and consipiracy starts.
I guess he is doing this to pass the time until his trial for laudering money and consipiracy starts.
Even the Mainstream Media is Snarky Sometimes
I'm not what sure what compelled me to click the link to this article but it was well worth it. Here is my favorite part of "Gibson Win Swayze Endorsement":
"Swayze is the first cast member of Dirty Dancing to publicly voice support of Gibson. There was no word on when Jennifer Grey or Cynthia Rhodes might weigh in.
Gibson, 50, did not star in Dirty Dancing or any other movie with Swayze.
It was unknown what Swayze's endorsement would mean to Gibson's plunging poll numbers, although, in general, ex-Dirty Dancing stars have not been considered vital to the forming of public opinion."
"Swayze is the first cast member of Dirty Dancing to publicly voice support of Gibson. There was no word on when Jennifer Grey or Cynthia Rhodes might weigh in.
Gibson, 50, did not star in Dirty Dancing or any other movie with Swayze.
It was unknown what Swayze's endorsement would mean to Gibson's plunging poll numbers, although, in general, ex-Dirty Dancing stars have not been considered vital to the forming of public opinion."
Eating in Hobbs
When you travel, eating is always an adventure. This Pineapple can only take so much junk food. Finding good food in small towns requires a bit of bravery. So on Saturday I decided I really wanted some breakfast tacos. I drove around until I found a place with lots of cars. When I walked in I knew I had found a good one because I was the only white person in there. And I had. I got the best bean and egg taco ever. And rebeccabobecca, it is better than our favorite taco joint in South Austin. No fooling! I have also included my new cutlery. Sometimes you need a fork and spoon so I went with Strawberry Shortcake. How cute!Monday, August 07, 2006
bp = bad polluter
Shame on you bp. You haven't been maintaining your pipeline for seven years??? I bet you weren't even running cathodic. Do you know what that is? Do you even know what a pig launcher is? I'm not even sure that you know what a pipeline is. I do know that you don't know the first thing about transporting petroleum. A retarded monkey with brain damage would run your pipeline division better.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Millipedes and snakes, oh my!
Yesterday while I was waiting for the bats to come out, I saw all sorts of creepy crawlies. First, there was this millipede. I was sitting near some fellow Texans (one of them was a huge Kinky fan and told his wife that she should have let him wear his "Kinky for Governor" hat once he found out I was from Texas too) and we decided it was alright to take a picture since technically the bats had not come out yet.
But it gets better. When the bats started coming out there was some commotion to my right. This man was holding a baby rattlesnake and taunting his wife with it. Then he put it in his coke can. He was planning on stealing a rattlesnake. Someone got one of the rangers. When this idiot told the ranger that the snake was gone, a bunch of us pointed and said "the snake is in the can!" The ranger told him to hand over the can and guy said, "why can't I keep the snake?" What a fun pet, a poisonous snake. Now there's a pal to keep your feet warm at night.
On my way back to Hobbs I stopped to get gas in Carlsbad. And who was walking out of the store when I was going in? The wannabe snake stealer. Apparently I missed the big drama because he got into it in the store with some of the guys that reported him. He did get a hefty ticket and was really bitter about being reported. The people working at the store thought the whole thing was hilarious. I guess it isn't very often that people walk into your work place and get into an argument about snake stealing.
Now doesn't that make you feel better?
Once upon a time, I went to Carlsbad Caverns. My grandfather and his awful wife took me and two of my cousins. We wandered around the caverns but only to stop and look at the things that she wanted to stop for. We did not get any souvenirs or take any pictures. Apparently a certain someone didn't think that was necessary. We finished looking at the caves about thirty minutes before the bats come out of the natural entrance and that certain someone told us it was time to leave. Isn't seeing the bats one of the reasons you go to the caverns? I hadn't given it much thought since then (as I tend to block out disappointments), but being this close to Carlsbad Caverns made me think about how much resented not being able to see the bat flight. So today, I righted that wrong. I wandered around the caves and saw the things I wanted to see, took lots of pictures (I bought a new camera just for that purpose), spent way too much money in the gift shop, and then I watched the bats. It was one of the best days ever. Unfortunately, they don't let you photograph the bats so I took the picture from their website to give you an idea of how wonderful it was.
And don't worry this is my last sappy blog because there was some good stuff that happened there. Just tune in for more Pineapple Adventures.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Just Do It
Just Do It
I tried to take a picture of my hand but it wasn't descriptive enough. They say a picture is worth 1000 words so I've picked a different picture to go with the tale of the bully table. I have had enough that table and its bullshit so I decided to beat the crap out of it. My knuckle turned black instantly. For a while I was afraid that it was broken. Despite the fact that it is solid metal and my hand is merely flesh and bones I think I gave that table a run for its money. So I've decided my next career will be table boxing. Stayed turned for Round 2 of Pineapple v. Big Metal Table...
Make it Happen
Make it Happen
Today was a fun day at work. I discovered someone else working on the same thing I am. I spent the rest of the day being sneaky by pulling books that don’t have anything to do with my work and spying on the other guy. Fun! In my subterfuge I ran across a really great name: Buena Vista Williams. “Beautiful Sight” Williams? Really? I thought my name was unusual…
So then I met these really cool guys that work out of Roswell. One of them told me that his wife was an alien and then we took a gum break together. No one has ever asked me if I had time to take a gum chewing break before. I just couldn’t pass that up even though I’m not much of a gum chewer. Turns out these guys were trying to figure out what I was up to! I got them on the subject of where they were from and it turns out one of them is from parts that I have family. Damn I’m good! I could start a career as an undercover agent…
Thursday, August 03, 2006
I'm allergic to my work
Yesterday when I left the courthouse my hands and arms were covered with hives. I was afraid that it was my fancy new soap causing the hives, so I switched back to something else in my handy dandy travel bag. But today, not only were my hands and arms covered with hives, so was my face and neck. Damn I itch! Can I come home now? This is definitly not a "working vacation."
Just another day in Court for Tommy
I'm really confused because the Republicans told me that Democrats were the ones who were so-called "flip floppers" or whatever their lingo is these days. But it seems like Tom DeLay keeps changing his mind. I thought a true Republican wouldn't do that. On Wednesday you still believe what you did on Monday no matter what happens on Tuesday. (Thanks Stephen Colbert) That's what our fabulous W does. But not ole Tommy. First he wanted to be re-elected so he ran in the primary and won. Then he resigned from the House and claimed to move to Virginia (flip-flop). He still has his house in Sugar Land and his wife lives there. Hmmm, does he live in Virginia or Texas? When the judge tells him he can't be removed from the ballot, he says he thinks he may run for his old seat (flip-flop). So he lives in Texas now, right? Wrong because he appealed the original decision (flip-flop). Got it so far?
The three-judge panel from the 5th Circuit upheld the original ruling. Does this means the Republicans are done with Tommy because the 5th Circuit is a lot like the Legion of Doom (a.k.a The Texas Supreme Court). In other words, the 5th Circuit is usually manipulated by the puppet strings better known as the Grand Old Party. So, what will Tommy's next move be? Will he appeal to the full 5th Circuit (maybe it was a case of bad/liberal judges) or to the Supreme Court? Your guess is as good as mine. But even if he doesn't appeal, we can still look forward to his trial for money laundering and conspiracy charges related to corporate cash during 2002 legislative races. What fun!
The three-judge panel from the 5th Circuit upheld the original ruling. Does this means the Republicans are done with Tommy because the 5th Circuit is a lot like the Legion of Doom (a.k.a The Texas Supreme Court). In other words, the 5th Circuit is usually manipulated by the puppet strings better known as the Grand Old Party. So, what will Tommy's next move be? Will he appeal to the full 5th Circuit (maybe it was a case of bad/liberal judges) or to the Supreme Court? Your guess is as good as mine. But even if he doesn't appeal, we can still look forward to his trial for money laundering and conspiracy charges related to corporate cash during 2002 legislative races. What fun!
A working vacation?
What the hell is that, you ask? That is what Baby Boy Bush is calling his trip to his "ranch" in Crawford. I will do my best to refrain from my rants about how W is not a Texan and that he doesn't even have a real ranch so he should not call it that. But back to this concept of a "working vacation." Maybe it is a little bit of black and white thinking on my part, but I think you are either at work or on vacation. You can't do both at the same time. Of course, one could argue that his entire presidency has been a "working vacation". That is a discussion for another day. As a Texan, if I were to take one of these working vacations I would like to take mine someplace where it isn't over 100 degrees everyday. This is why Texans spend their free time at the pool, in the lake or in the ocean. It is really hot in Texas. Of course, if I were to have a ranch I would have some cattle. I guess my lack of understanding of ranching and working vacations can completely explain why I struggle to make a living and W is a world leader.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Would you like a cigar with that conspiracy theory?
Is Castro still alive? We haven't heard much from him and now this sudden surgery and still no one has seen him. I'm just wondering if he has been dead for a while and now they are working up to his official "death". My next question is if he is "dead" will travel to Cuba become legal, because if it does I think that would really take the fun out of going there.
More about scuba diving in New Mexico
That's right I just can't quite drop this whole scuba diving in New Mexico. So, next time you are in Lovington, New Mexico you could try to visit Divers of New Mexico (like I tried to today) but they seem to be closed. I really wanted to talk to them about their scuba lessons. I was hoping to have a great story about how I got certified to scuba dive in New Mexico. But alas, there just weren't enough people that saw the irony to keep them in business.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Do you scuba?
I haven't ever been, but now that I know that New Mexico is a hot bed for scuba diving I may take it up. I guess I was feeling really bad yesterday because I completely missed the scuba shop next to the health food store. Once I noticed it, it made me wonder if scuba diving is an ideal hobby to take up in a land locked state. I thought, "do they scuba in motel swimming pools?" Well, as it turns out New Mexico is a good place to scuba. All you have to do is get yourself to Blue Hole in Santa Rosa, New Mexico.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Health Food
I think I mentioned that I caught something gross from the airplane, airport, whatever. So after work, I went to the Albertsons to get some "get better provisions" (things like Tylenol and Gatorade). I saw the aisle for "Health Food" (it is on the same aisle with cereal) so I went to check it out. The only food on the aisle that was not cereal was Carr crackers and your run of the mill Matzo supplies and gefilte fish. I guess they didn't have an aisle for "Shit we think is weird 'round these parts". Needless to say, I wasn't having an overwhelming urge to be Kosher (especially since I'm not Jewish) so I stuck with the not healthy foods in the store.
But this was not my first run in with health food today. While in Lovington I saw that there is a health food store across the street from the courthouse. Everything had been in there so long that all of the labels were sun bleached. Something tells me that if that stuff has been there that long that the food isn't so healthy. Just a thought.
But this was not my first run in with health food today. While in Lovington I saw that there is a health food store across the street from the courthouse. Everything had been in there so long that all of the labels were sun bleached. Something tells me that if that stuff has been there that long that the food isn't so healthy. Just a thought.
I don't know who you are
but you are not my friend. Thanks you, anonymous traveler that gave me some nasty illness. Like flying to West Nowhere on two late planes and then driving another hour and a half after that wasn't enough. You have to go and spread your wealth of germs. Yuck. That being said, here is a quick run down of my adventures.
As the Pineapple Parents were taking me to the airport I realized that I was wrong about my departure time. I thought my plane was leaving half an hour earlier than it was (guess that's better than thinking it was later). Then as I was getting out of the car I managed to slice open my finger. I was waiting to check my bag when I realized that it was gushing blood. Thankfully, they had a band aid to give me. Going through security was quick and easy, so naturally my plane was 20 minutes late. Way to add an hour to my waiting time. After getting a book and something to drink, I heard my name over the loud speaker. Since I was on the phone with Pineapple Mom, I didn't know why or where I was supposed to go. How lucky, I went to the right counter by accident. Southwest was putting me on another flight so I would not miss my connection. Right on... to Dallas... to wait for over an hour for my really late connecting flight. I don't know what happened yesterday, but it really slowed me down.
Since it was so late in the day, this was the last flight of the day for the crew on this plane. I don't know if the flight attendant is always this punchy, but she really cracked me up. Usually, I totally block out the plane lessons or whatever they are. Here are some of the finer points of her speech:
1. Here on Southwest we have a special smoking section. Its on the wing so if you can light it, you can smoke it.
2. We do not expect a sudden drop in cabin pressure and if we did, we wouldn't have come to work today.
3. Should the cabin lose pressure, stop screaming, let go your neighbor's leg and pull down on the oxygen mask. If you are sitting by a child or someone acting like a child secure your oxygen mask before helping them.
After that, I drove through the dark Panhandle to the lovely town of Hobbs.
As the Pineapple Parents were taking me to the airport I realized that I was wrong about my departure time. I thought my plane was leaving half an hour earlier than it was (guess that's better than thinking it was later). Then as I was getting out of the car I managed to slice open my finger. I was waiting to check my bag when I realized that it was gushing blood. Thankfully, they had a band aid to give me. Going through security was quick and easy, so naturally my plane was 20 minutes late. Way to add an hour to my waiting time. After getting a book and something to drink, I heard my name over the loud speaker. Since I was on the phone with Pineapple Mom, I didn't know why or where I was supposed to go. How lucky, I went to the right counter by accident. Southwest was putting me on another flight so I would not miss my connection. Right on... to Dallas... to wait for over an hour for my really late connecting flight. I don't know what happened yesterday, but it really slowed me down.
Since it was so late in the day, this was the last flight of the day for the crew on this plane. I don't know if the flight attendant is always this punchy, but she really cracked me up. Usually, I totally block out the plane lessons or whatever they are. Here are some of the finer points of her speech:
1. Here on Southwest we have a special smoking section. Its on the wing so if you can light it, you can smoke it.
2. We do not expect a sudden drop in cabin pressure and if we did, we wouldn't have come to work today.
3. Should the cabin lose pressure, stop screaming, let go your neighbor's leg and pull down on the oxygen mask. If you are sitting by a child or someone acting like a child secure your oxygen mask before helping them.
After that, I drove through the dark Panhandle to the lovely town of Hobbs.
I'm in Hobbs, New Mexico
and I am tired. I will blog about my latest adventures in flying after I have had some sleep. Good night, Irene.
Saturday, July 29, 2006
The next edition of the Saturday edition
After all of the stupidity of my day, I was pleased to have a new fancy phone. I don't have to pay for ringtones because I can send songs from my computer directly to my phone. Cool! So naturally, I drove right past the pet store and went to the house to show my one true love my cool new gadget. After doing a quick clean up of the house, the Pineapple Parents stopped by with some dinner and then I remembered what I forgot to do. Get the dogs some food and pet tags. By the way, have I mentioned that I have the greatest parents on earth? The Pineapple Parents are cool.
So after the Pineapple Parents leave, I go to the pet store to get food and dog tags. Let's just start this part of the story with the idea that I'm not really sure that I ever want to go back there again. I get behind this complete idiot in the parking lot that stopped for a minute or so before every speed bump. By the time the dumbass decided it was safe to drive over the bump, there would be a pedestrian walking. More waiting. I'm not really sure what, if anything, was going on in that dumbass' head but after an unusually long wait to drive over the speed bump I finally took to the horn. That did nothing but cause more confusion. After that, I just accepted the fact that it was going to take longer to navigate the parking lot than to drive to the store.
I finally parked and went into the store. I picked up the food and grabbed a couple of fun toys for the ladies. I get to the counter and naturally the pet tag machine is broken. Of course. Then the guy in line behind me started telling me that the toys I bought were too big for puppies. I told him that he didn't even know what kind of dogs I have. Where do people get off?
Finally I went home and all was well.
The End
So after the Pineapple Parents leave, I go to the pet store to get food and dog tags. Let's just start this part of the story with the idea that I'm not really sure that I ever want to go back there again. I get behind this complete idiot in the parking lot that stopped for a minute or so before every speed bump. By the time the dumbass decided it was safe to drive over the bump, there would be a pedestrian walking. More waiting. I'm not really sure what, if anything, was going on in that dumbass' head but after an unusually long wait to drive over the speed bump I finally took to the horn. That did nothing but cause more confusion. After that, I just accepted the fact that it was going to take longer to navigate the parking lot than to drive to the store.
I finally parked and went into the store. I picked up the food and grabbed a couple of fun toys for the ladies. I get to the counter and naturally the pet tag machine is broken. Of course. Then the guy in line behind me started telling me that the toys I bought were too big for puppies. I told him that he didn't even know what kind of dogs I have. Where do people get off?
Finally I went home and all was well.
The End
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